“I missed you so much,” Addie whispered against my neck.
My smile couldn’t be contained. “I missed you too, sweetheart. It’s been a long two days.” I also had to admit thatI missed her calling me Daddy One, which she had for a bit when Jake and her mom got engaged. He was Daddy Two; I was Daddy One. At some point she asked if I cared if we were both Daddy, which was—of course—fine. I just loved hearing the way she’d draw out the “one” as she ran at me.
“I know,” Addie said mournfully, ignorant of my stroll down memory lane, as she kicked her legs and slid down my body until her sparkly purple rain boots hit the ground. “Why did you have to go out of town?”
I knew time worked differently when you were almost six, though two days seemed like a long time for me too now that I was used to seeing Addie regularly. Her mom and my childhood friend, Ivy, lived only a few blocks from me. Addie was used to going between our houses since I moved to Highland Falls a year and a half ago.
Heck, I lived in the house Ivy and Addie had when they first moved to Highland Falls. Once she and Jake had gotten engaged, they moved out and Ivy had asked me to move in. I knew that to many, our family dynamic was odd, but I thought it was perfect. Ivy and I had started dating in college after a long friendship, but we’d never considered it a long-term thing since I had planned to head to Africa to help with water access once I saved up enough funds. When she got pregnant shortly after graduation, we acknowledged that we both felt we were far better off as friends. After all, we’d started that way in childhood, commiserating over parents who were more concerned about their social status than being decent parental figures. Our romantic relationship was more of convenience than any romantic chemistry, and I was grateful every day for the loyalty I had in Ivy, even when I didn’t always feel deserving of it.
See, the thing was, I wasn’t sure I’d ever forgive myself for continuing with my plans to go to Africa after graduation once Ifound out I was going to be a dad. It had been important work, but it meant I missed much of Addie’s first four years. Ivy swore she hadn’t resented me for being gone, but I couldn’t say the same for myself. One night in Kenya, I had looked at a picture of Addie that I carried around and decided I was never getting this time back. Within weeks, I’d convinced the company to get me a stateside job that was heavy on remote work, and I’d headed to a small town in Illinois to try to make up for lost time with my daughter.
Arriving in Highland Falls almost a year and a half ago, I hadn’t known how receptive Ivy would be for me to change things up and become an actual part of Addie’s life. True to her nature, she’d been more than generous. She and Jake had shifted to a shared parenting structure without hesitation as I reminded her along the way that I wanted to make Ivy’s life easier and not harder.
Our changes had been gradual. We’d started with me picking up Addie from school a few days a week and tried for dinner together one night. Now we alternated where Addie lived every other week, depending on my work schedule. It wasn’t unusual for all of us to get together for a family meal no matter where Addie was staying.
Part of me felt like I’d asked for too much, but both Jake and Ivy had worked to assure me that wasn’t the case. With their new baby Lorelai arriving this past December, I knew it helped them when Addie was with me, but I still felt like I hadn’t earned it.
Looking down at Addie with her hand in a tight grip in my own, I marveled at her curious nature. We were walking toward my place and her gaze was all over the place, but she was silent.
Since she typically spoke a mile a minute, I figured I should ask. “What are you thinking about, Ads?”
Her blond head turned toward me, and I noted her eyes were open wide. “Plants are magical.”
I smiled, thinking of her mom, who strongly identified as a green witch. “Agreed, Sunshine. But what has that on your brain?”
She dropped my hand to gesture at the tall oaks and hackberries standing sentinel on Main Street as we headed to my block. “Look at the trees. Bare. But in just a few weeks…” She mimed an explosion with her hands. “Magic.”
I laughed at the gravity in her voice as I took in our surroundings. “Yep, there should be some green appearing by the end of the month for sure.”
“And…” Addie paused, tugging my hand till I crouched down by her. Her voice lowered to a whisper, like she was sharing some big secret. “Momma planted so many tulips at Daddy’s house last fall. Any day now…Bam.” Another hand explosion crossed with jazz hands.
I gave her a serious look. “Do you remember planting tulips up my front walk with me last fall?”
Addie’s mouth made a perfectO. “I forgot.” Her voice was hushed. “Oh, Daddy, that’s going to look so good.”
I nodded in agreement and stood up to continue our walk home. Addie swung our hands as I mulled over what we needed to accomplish tonight. I’d gotten my work done before picking her up today so I could be present. The never-ending guilt over the time missed with Addie drove me. I briefly wondered if that would ever go away before I began thinking of more practical matters of the night ahead. “All right, Sunshine, dinner tonight is salad and English muffin pizzas. Sound good?”
“Yep.” She tried her hand at skipping for a minute, which was not smooth, but she was getting there. “Can I use American cheese and make it like a jack-o’-lantern?”
“You bet.” I thought over the typical homework she had in kindergarten. “Then we’ll read. Do you have anything else for school?”
She dropped my hand to nod and then do a few twirls, making the sparkly tutu she still loved wearing over leggings fly up around her. “I have a story I need to cut apart and glue down in order.” She paused to pass me her backpack for easier twirling.
“Sounds good. Want to play when we get home, or do you want to get the work done first?” Ivy had taught me that Ads was a relatively easy kid when you presented her with options. Parenting win if either option was fine with you but gave her some control.
She spun in place and looked up at me with big eyes. I knew a big ask was coming. “Daddy, can I go play with Chief andthengo home and do my work?”
I bit back an internal groan. Chief was Jake’s dog, or now Jake and Ivy’s pup. The bond between Addie and that animal was strong. Heck, the dog had raced in front of a car to shove Addie out of the way a year and a half ago, getting struck by the car for his trouble. It happened right when I was moving to Highland and was by far one of the worst experiences I’d ever been through. Luckily Addie was fine and Chief had fully recovered, but I’d pretty much do anything for that dog, including interrupt my plans for a quiet afternoon.
With a look at the time on my cell, I opened my group text with Ivy and Jake, which Ivy had named Fam Jam.
Me:Ms. Addie has a burning desire to play with Chief. Anyone home?
Ivy:At bookstore. Will be in thirty.
Jake:I’ll be home at the same. Come on by. Chief will be excited.
I looked down at Addie, who was watching with a hopeful gaze. “Sunshine, we can go over in thirty and they’ll be home. How does work first and then Chief time sound?”
