“All those are important conversations, Noah, and I’d like to talk about each one. For what it’s worth, it’s not baggage to me but parts of you. For now, however, I’m more concerned about why you became clearly upset when Ivy and Jake had a sick baby and had to head to the doc.” She watched me with a warm gaze, clearly trying to send reassurance to me with telepathy. My original impression of the woman remained true—she was justgood,down to her core, and I had a strong desire to know more.
I let out a sigh as I debated how to do this.
Jules’s look changed, became a bit more closed off. “This really is none of my business, we just met…”
I shook my head. “That’s not it, and I think I can speak for both of us in that we’re building a solid friendship with…” I glanced over at her. “…the possibility of more?”
Jules nodded.
“Then you are absolutely entitled to ask questions when you are concerned.” I thought for a minute. “But about my reaction to Lorelai’s ear infection, I know I was being weird earlier. There’s one answer for that, but it might lead to a bigger conversation.”
“That’s fine.” She relaxed again.
My laugh was rough. “There’s only so much childhood bullshit I want to dump on you in a weekend, Jules. I don’t want to scare you off.” It struck me when I said that how true the words were. Was that a normal thought about a friend? More to think on later.
“You won’t,” she promised.
I looked at the ceiling, searching for a way to put my fears into words. “Umm, well, you know the backstory of me moving here, right?” I remembered her telling me the other day she knew some of it, but I wasn’t sure what details she’d heard.
I felt her hand on my thigh and looked over. “I know a little. You were in Africa and worked with a company to install wells but then moved to the States a year and a half ago.”
“Yep, that sums it up.” I thought back to my time after a college with a smile. “Addie was a surprise Ivy and I hadn’t planned on, but the best surprise possible. When we found out she was coming, we’d already decided we were more friends than anything else.” I took a deep breath. Jules already knew I’d been overseas for most of Addie’s early years, but I still felt like a deadbeat dad whenever I talked about it. “I offered to stay, but Ivy knew how much I had looked forward to working in Africa, to making some type of difference.” My voice trailed off as I thought of my parents.
Jules squeezed my leg, and I looked into her eyes, which held no judgment. “Why did you want to make a difference? Was that something your mom and dad instilled in you?”
I choked on the laughter that burst out at the image of my parents wanting to give to anyone but themselves. “Hardly.”
She raised an eyebrow and furrowed her brow.
“Ivy and I come from a wealthy circle. And I’m sure not everyone with money is a self-entitled asshole, but my parents certainly are. They were infuriated that I didn’t follow in my dad’s footsteps and cut me off when I went to Africa, also cuttingAddie off.” My gut churned with the memory of the words they’d shouted at me, the absolute disbelief that I’d want a different life than them.
“My god, Noah. I’m so sorry.” Jules’s eyes were watery. She exuded kindness and compassion. My parents would eat her alive. Mental note to never let them meet her.
I slid my hand on top of hers to reassure her but also because it felt right. “Thanks. I wish I could say that was out of character for them, but that would be a lie. But in a weird way, they did inspire the need to give back. My entire life, I was surrounded by excess by the privilege of where I’d been born, not by anything I’d done to deserve it. So the idea of traveling to Africa, helping people have access to water, was born after I heard a presenter to my middle school class talk about his work over there. My parents thought I’d ‘get over it,’ but that was not the case.”
Jules gave me a soft smile as Addie let out a peal of laughter.
“You good, Addie?” I called.
Her voice echoed out of her fort. “Yes, Daddy.Blueyis so funny. O’Malley loves this show, Ms. Jules.”
“Glad to hear it, Ms. Addie,” Jules called over, her eyes sparkling.
Damn, that was a good look on her.
“So you went to Africa.” She got us back on track.
I smiled, acknowledging what she was doing. “Yes, and I did love it, but the guilt of not being here, of what I was missing, ate at me every single day.” I tipped my head toward the fort, and she nodded in understanding. “Finally I came back?—”
“And the rest is history?”
I tipped my hand from side to side. “I mean, kind of? I’m more grateful every day that I made the choice to come to Highland Falls, but sometimes things pop up that remind me of all I missed with Addie’s first four years and that there’s no way to undo that.”
Jules looked off in thought but then turned my way with an expression that told me she got it. “Like a baby having an ear infection…”
“And Ivy having to take care of that on her own, over and over, for years.”
Jules’s eyes were watery again as she squeezed my thigh. “I don’t know Ivy well, but she doesn’t seem like the type of person to hold that against you.”
