“You don’t want to open it? It’s from your coworkers.”
“Nah.”
I set my bowl aside and grabbed the bag, tugging out the tissue paper and peering inside. I saw some holiday fabric and pulled it out, spreading both items on my lap.
Oh. My. Goodness.
There was a sling, pink with little Christmas trees on it in various shades of pink and purple, and then there was a matching sweater for Baxter.
Aidan immediately chuckled, calling Baxter and holding the sweater open for our pup. It was insane, but Baxter actually liked wearing sweaters and would tunnel through, kicking his little legs to get them in the armholes.
He did just that, and it was a perfect fit.
Aidan leaned over and grabbed his phone from his pocket before taking a pic of our adorable pup. “I’ll just send this to the guys and tell them thanks.”
I nodded, running my hand over the sling. I loved that I knew Aidan would have no issue walking around town in a pink sling. Toxic masculinity had no space in his head to the point his coworkers knew it.
I was so attracted to him, but at the same time, zero desire was bubbling up inside me. I didn’t know how to talk about it without feeling like I was rejecting him. Damn.
“You done, babe?” He was standing up, holding out a hand for my plate.
“Aidan, you’ve done so much. How about I clean up?” My heart was hammering like I was worried about something. What was that?
Instead of saying anything, he knelt to press a kiss to my head. “Babe, you worked a full day, and as soon as you got home, you nursed our baby, which is another full-time job. You need to have some downtime. I haven’t forgotten the way you looked when we got to the library today.”
My heart pounded more. “I was just tired.”
He bopped my nose with his finger. “Um-hm.” Standing up, he nodded to Mia. “Hang with her for a few minutes, spend some time together before bed, then we can divide and conquer. You can nurse her one last time and I’ll get a bath ready for you, then I’ll get her down while you get a good soak and relax.”
My face flamed, which I would like to note had never been an issue for me before in life, but damn did I feel like I wasn’t pulling my own weight. “You’re doing everything.”
Aidan bent over, tucked my hair behind my ear, and whispered, “When are you going to clue into the fact that I love taking care of you?”
With that, he stood up, taking my dish and heading to the kitchen while I slid to the floor to stretch out by Mia, feeling like one more item on the Aidan Russo to-do list.
* * *
The bath was the perfect temperature as I sank into the water. Guilt gnawed at me as I thought of Aidan laying Mia down to bed. Fingers crossed she’d be easy and would go down and stay down for the next four hours. While my husband and I might be operating right now more as friends than romantic partners, I was ashamed that he was carrying so much of the parental load at the moment. He’d had Mia all day, made dinner, and now was putting her down so I could wind down in a bath? When I was home for the first three months, it was a dang miracle if I was showered every other day.
My inner voice reminded me that she’d slept even less consecutively as a newborn, and I should cut myself a break.
I grabbed a soap that I’d picked up at the gift shop in town and ran it over my skin. The lavender was heady, and my breathing evened out as I finally found it in me to relax. I ran the suds over one arm, across my breasts, and then down the other arm. I willed myself to feel sexual, to have any desire come up.
Instead, I yawned. No, I was not going to bed before Aidan was done with Mia. Maybe, just maybe, if I could stay awake until he was in the room, we could at least kiss. It was better than nothing, right?
As I rinsed the soap off, I realized I couldn’t soak in here like Aidan had suggested. It was a nice thought, but I was at risk of falling asleep in the bath, and that just seemed dangerous and contrary to my plan.
Instead, I finished up and quickly got out of the tub, moving through my nightly routine, drying off and applying lotion, brushing through my hair, cleaning my teeth. When faced with pajama options, I thought fondly back to a time when the preferable choice would be none. Leaking breasts made that a no-go, not to mention the lack of desire to see my body in that way. I did grab a nicer nightshirt rather than flannel pants and a long T-shirt.
It was a step.
Racing to my side of the bed, I slid under the covers, proud of myself for getting done before Aidan got in the room.
My head hit the pillow and I promptly fell asleep.
Chapter4
Tagging in a Ringer
