I shrugged. “She hasn’t really drunk much of anything since before Mia was conceived. Maybe she needs to unwind.” I started walking up my drive backward, finishing our conversation but also wanting to get to Gracie. “Whatever it is, I know I want to see it. Feel like a burger?”
Levi headed over to his 4Runner. “I’ve gotta head home to shower and check on a few things. If I can, I’ll swing by.”
I waved in his direction and turned to jog inside. Now to let my mom know she was on solo duty for a while longer. She would not consider that a hardship.
* * *
The Homestead wasn’t rocking out on a Saturday afternoon, which wasn’t shocking. The majority of the lunch crowd had come and gone. The railroad museum in town did some train rides all through December on the weekends, allowing kids to have lunch with Santa. That did increase the amount of out-of-towners throughout the month, which some of us townies grumped at—good-naturedly of course.
Judging by the people gathered at some of the tables around the brewery, Santa visits via the train had already happened for several families. However, the parents likely wanted more food than the complimentary PB&J sandwich that came with every train ride, no matter how delicious they might be. Thus, the families dotting the dining room of the brewery. Everywhere you looked, kids were coloring holiday papers at the tables as the parents had a beverage and sat in peace under the evergreen-swagged walls of the brewery, the requisite mistletoe, lights, and Christmas trees placed throughout the dining area.
The coloring pages were a new addition here, one of many. Once Sully became a dad with the arrival of El, and Jake by marrying Ivy and getting the bonus of Addie, the two of them looked at the “pleasures” of dining out with kids a little differently. As a result, there were now a variety of toys to entertain kids available for checkout at the hostess station in the brewery. New coloring pages that were changed weekly were also available, and completed masterpieces were hung up on the bulletin board by the front door. There was also a new chalk wall on one side of the dining room where kids could create some artwork as their parents decompressed. Laurie said it had brought in more young families because they felt welcomed instead of being considered a nuisance.
While the kids hard at work on their pages were adorable, the woman I was looking for was sitting in the bar area. She was at a low table with a couch and an armchair and two forms of trouble in the way of Emma and Maggie sitting on either side. Their eyes tracked me as Grace had her head resting against the couch, eyes closed, singing “Middle of the Morning” by one of her favorite artists, Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit.
Maggie went to tap her, and I held up a hand to hold her off. Gracie was clearly feeling good, but I knew this woman. She wasn’t drunk. Without missing a beat, she sang along word for word as the song flowed from the speakers in the brewery.
As she belted out the lyrics about being tired, she held her arms up, pouring out her feelings to the room without even a glance to see who was listening. Emotions filled the space. At first I smiled. But then I saw a tear sneak out from below her closed lids.
Shit.
I moved without the conscious decision to do so. Emma hopped up, and I quickly stole her seat to sit down next to Grace. She felt the movement, and her eyes shot open and she looked from Emma, now standing, to me.
“Hey, Grace-alicious, what are these tears about?” I whispered, wiping away the one that was dancing on her lower lids.
More appeared as she slid into my arms and tucked her head into my neck. While I was worried, I also had to admit that holding her felt so good. It had been so long.
“Babe, what’s going on?” I nodded as Maggie caught my eye and pointed to the bar. She got up and joined Emma at the stools, still watching me. I knew they were aware I had Grace, but I also knew they’d go to bat for their friend, no matter how long we’d been married, if they felt like I was being a fool. Damn, I was grateful she had friends like those two.
“Cheryl called me when I was at the library.” Her lips moved against my neck.
I could feel the tension in her body as she spoke. It took me a second to remember who the hell Cheryl even was, but then it came to me. Daycare. No idea why she’d need to call now though. We weren’t starting until mid-January.
“What did she need?” I spoke into her hair because she was still hugging me like some kind of koala. I ran a hand down her back, hoping it was remotely soothing as I took a deep breath, then another. It worked, and I felt Grace match my breathing as a little tension left her.
“She’s moving.” While she was more relaxed, I could feel that she was teetering on the edge of some big emotions. “And you know I called around before we found her. I’m just… I just… It’s just… I don’t know what to do, Aidan. I love my job. And I love Mia, I really do. But when I was home with her, it was like I lost, I don’t know, I lostme.”
Grace pulled back and looked at me, tears now free-falling. Her hands flailed as she gestured toward a speaker. “It’s like Isbell says in that song—I finally felt the light come inthis weekwhen I went back to work. I hadn’t realized how much I’d lost until I found it again. I’d somehow lost myself. I loved being with Mia, but I can’t find the balance at home. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Shhhh.” I pulled her close, squeezing her tight. Damn, I wish she’d told me some of this when she’d been home for the past three months. “Babe, I totally understand. You do a fabulous job at the library, and I know how much you love it. Why do you think that needs to change?”
Grace sat up and raised her arms in a movement of frustration. “Well, what else are we going todo, Aidan? I can’t bring her to the library with me, and she clearly can’t go to the jail with you, so I guess I’m staying home.”
I shook my head in confusion. “Grace, no. This doesn’t automatically fall to you. I don’t know what the answer is yet, but it isn’t you staying home. No. You are an amazing mother, but that isn’t what you want, so we’re going to figure something out.”
She fell against me, dropping her head to my shoulder. “You don’t think I’m terrible because I don’t want to be home full-time?”
I put my hand on her head, holding her as close as I could. “Of course not. You are amazing with Mia. We will find another answer.”
“Promise?”
“Promise,” I whispered as my mind started racing for how we were going to fix this one.
Chapter7
Glitter in the Air
Grace
