“Our daycare provider, Cheryl. She called to say that her husband has accepted a job transfer to South Carolina.” I closed my eyes, my brain mentally rearranging my life as I searched for answers that weren’t there.
Emma let out a surprised sound as she squeezed my waist. “Oh no. I remember how excited you were when you found her.”
Wordlessly I nodded, misery swamping my insides. Tim left and came back quickly with the plate of chocolate chip cookies we’d passed out at the story time. Sugar wouldn’t solve this problem, but a delicious cookie was a good try. I took one and so did Emma and Tim as he sat down on my other side so that I was bookended by my two friends. We touched our cookies together before munching in silence.
Finally I spoke up. “I guess I’ll just have to find a way to stay home.”
To which Tim gasped and Emma said, “Hell no.”
I thought of Mia and the lack of options. It made zero rational sense, but I felt rejected, like no one wanted us, which wasn’t true, but my brain was telling me it was. And in the middle of that bit of emotion, I could feel my breasts beginning to let down milk because of course they were.
“Grrrr,” I growled because apparently that was who I’d become, a woman who growled. Seemed logical. “I need to pump.”
“I’m out.” Tim was up and fled the kitchen in record time. He called out to us as he headed back to the front of the library. “I’ll just be out here working. You two do whatever you need to do.”
Emma gave me a mischievous look. “So apparently we’ve learned how to get rid of Tim in a hurry. Well done.”
She tugged me up and we headed upstairs to my office. After pushing me gently into my chair, she plopped my bag in front of me as she closed the door and took her own seat in the armchair she favored. “No modesty today—like I said,crisis mode. Feel free to toss a blanket over yourself if you’d like, but I’ve seen Maggie pump more than I can count. Now what’s this about staying home? I know you love your little peanut, but that’s always something you’ve said wouldn’t make you happy.”
Once I was all hooked up, I looked over to Emma. “You don’t need to avert your eyes; I brought my wearable pumps today.” I gestured at my nursing bra, which still covered me while pumping, and Emma’s eyes widened.
“Maggie didn’t have that,” she said.
“Pros and cons of this one, but it does make it easier to have a conversation.” I gave her a sad smile as I thought of my problem, which had no solution I could see. Taking a big breath, I tried to summarize what was whirling in my mind. “First, I should absolutely acknowledge that this is a first-world problem. My baby is healthy. My husband is wonderful—”
“Other than the not-jumping-your-bones thing.”
“Now you sound like our middle school book club, but yeah, that’s still an issue. But this new one is moving to the forefront. Finding great daycare stressed me out when we got pregnant. You know we checked everywhere. Cheryl only had an opening because she had a family move. Now I’m back to square one,andall the other families at her place will be looking too.” I rested my head on my hand, wishing for a simple answer that I knew didn’t exist.
“And you think the best choice is leaving your job here?” Emma asked, skepticism evident.
At her words, the door to the office opened. I looked down and realized my nursing bra covered the most important spots, but I was still ready to have words with whoever had walked in here when I saw it was Maggie.
She held up her hands. “Sorry. Tim told me you were pumping, but he also sent me a SOS text, and I was just down the street at the café with Sully, so I rushed over. What gives?”
“Grace is thinking of giving up her job.” Emma’s voice had lost any sparkle, and I felt the same.
“What?” Maggie screeched.
We quickly filled her in, talking over each other as we unloaded. Finally I looked from Emma to Maggie and shrugged. “I just don’t see another choice. You know I called everywhere in town months ago. I need to run the numbers to even see if we can afford to drop down to one salary. I mean, it would be tight, but likely doable. I just wish there was another answer.”
I dropped my head to my desk, misery washing over me.
Maggie put a hand on my head. “Babe, we’re going to help you figure this out. Now finish up this pumping and we can head to the brewery if you like. Tim said Gabby will be here soon with that crazy cat, Aslan. He said you two didn’t need to stay, they had it. And”—she paused until I sat up and looked her way—“you need to fill me in on this whole hands-free pumping situation you’ve got going on here. How did I miss out on this for the past year?”
I gave Maggie a tearful smile as I squeezed her hand, grateful that she was trying to lighten the conversation. She was right—we’d figure something out. We had to.
Chapter6
Middle of the Morning
Aidan
Levi ran up the snowy streets ahead of me as I fought to find a deeper well of energy to get another burst of speed from my tired legs. Turning at the city pool, we headed back down a small hill and started toward downtown while the sky became a snow globe.
My speed increased as our legs stretched out toward the end of our five-mile run. Our route took us across the state road, which was getting slick with accumulating snowfall, and then we headed up the small hill toward the business district and the streets around the old courthouse at the center of town. Levi reached the low wall that marked the lawn that surrounded the building first, sitting down as he watched me slide to a stop in front of him.
“You’re getting faster,” I said, dropping my hands to my knees as I fought to catch my breath.
