Chapter1
Milk Cow
Grace
My boobs had sprung a leak. I glanced down and saw wet circles that looked kind of like targets appearing before my eyes. Tears threatened, but I was not doing this. I had this. I did. Even when I clearly didn’t, I was going to make this work.
“Grace?” Emma, my right hand at the library, walked in, took one look at the girls in my forest-green wrap dress—now marred by the evidence of my overly full breasts—and simply froze. “Oh…”
It was the “oh” that did it. I blame her, because at that word, all the tears that had been threatening to spill over did just that. I dropped my head to my desk and let them roll without restraint.
Unfortunately, the tears made me think of Mia. Thinking of Mia made me miss the little nugget even more. Missing her made said boobs perk up. I think you see where this is going. A trail of dominos. More milk leaked out, emotion flowed, and the circle continued.
I mean, at that point, what did a little more moisture matter in the scheme of things?
Emma closed the door to my office and rushed to my desk, kneeling to the side. “Grace, sweetheart, what can I do?” She smoothed a hand over my blond bob, which used to be smooth and sleek but now was several weeks past when I should have gotten it cut and had seen better days.
The tears increased.
“I am a mess,” I moaned.
“Um, well.” Emma looked me over like she was debating how to break the news that I was correct in that assumption.
“Emma, I know I am. Look at me!” I pointed at my boobs as Maggie burst through the door.
“Maggie, you should knock,” Emma said with a scowl.
Maggie took one look at me and shook her head. “Agree to disagree, my friend. Got here straight from some Mommy and Me with El on my first day of holiday break from the seventh graders. Tim is at the circulation desk and said he heard the telltale sign of tears. I figured time was of the essence.”
Emma stood between me and Maggie. Trying to protect me or run from me, I honestly wasn’t sure which. “I was just helping Grace. She’s feeling a little emotional and—”
Maggie slid around Emma and gave me a once-over. Then she laid out the truth, which was her norm. “Babe, you’re a mess.”
“I know,” I said, wishing I had a Kleenex.
Maggie rustled in her ginormous bag, then handed me exactly that.
“Maggie, I think Grace needs comfort right now and—”
“Emma, no offense, when you pop that kid out in five months, you’ll get more where Grace is coming from. Right now, trust me. I know what she needs.” Looking back to me, Maggie didn’t hesitate. “Okay, lady. First things first, do you have a change of clothes here?”
I nodded, pointing to a bag by the door.
“Got your pump?”
I nodded again, gesturing back to my bag.
“How are you on the modesty scale? Meaning, do you want company while pumping or want us to set it up and give you some privacy?”
“We would stay in here while she waspumping?” Emma was aghast, but then she shot me a wink to let me know she was at least half joking. A few months ago, I would have been with her. However, upon becoming a milk cow, I’d lost some of my give-a-shits.
Maggie rolled her eyes. “I mean, I’m just offering, and you’ve been with me a million times while I’ve pumped. Grace is clearly on edge. If she doesn’t want to be alone, it’s not like we don’t have breasts. And I’ve pumped and you will be in a few months, so…”
Emma’s reaction served its purpose—it snapped me out of my emotions. “Sorry. I’m doing better.” I sniffed. “To answer your question, not too modest, but I think I’m okay to go it alone. No need to traumatize Emma today.”
Maggie looked me over like she’d make her own judgment. “Hmm, okay. You are looking calmer. How about we help you get set up, and then we’ll meet you down in the kitchen when you’re done?”
Within minutes, I was hooked up to my Medela and the familiar suction began to provide relief even while it pissed me off. Maggie had set up my phone on my desk so I could binge an episode or two as I sat there in the office on the second floor of the Ryan Library, doing the work that new moms everywhere did as they returned after maternity leave.
