“I left the fifth largest library system in the country to move to one of the smallest ones. That meant a pay cut, a loss of stability, a loss of access, you name it.” My fingers ran over her shoulder, trying to send comfort through her jacket, to help her relax. “I’d been on the staff for years, but I gave it up to come here.”
She let her head drop to my chest. “I hadn’t thought of that. Why did you make that choice?”
I found myself twirling her hair around my finger. “I wasn’t happy. In Chicago, I felt like one of many. I was lost in the crowd. I stopped and thought hard about where I’d felt at peace in my life, and my heart called me home. Then my grandparents passed and left me their place, and the call grew stronger. And when there was an opening at the Ryan Library, I knew where I belonged. It was worth the risk, worth the lifestyle change.”
“And you’re happy with your choice?” Her voice had a dreamlike quality. Like she was processing what I said but not completely here. I hoped that meant she was thinking about her own situation.
“My grandma always told me that if I had a choice, to choose what made me happy, even when it scared me. So I chose my happiness. I don’t think you can go wrong when you do that.” I let my head drop back against the sleigh, looking up into the winter sky, trees lining the trail on either side of us as we neared the barn.
“So, simple as that? Choose happiness?” Elle whispered beside me.
“Choose to follow your heart, Elle,” I said back, rolling my head to the side to watch her as she looked down the trail. “See where that leads you. Then you can’t go wrong.” Her eyes met mine, and I prayed she could absorb the belief I had in her. “Believe in yourself, choose your dreams, choose you. You’re worth it.”
15
Full Steam Ahead
Elle
The bed in Nate’s guest bedroom was hidden under a pile of clothing. Pretty sure I had emptied the bag of everything Ava had packed, to no avail. I’d been debating what I was wearing out tonight for the past twenty minutes. If I kept it up much longer, I’d be late.
Quite frankly, considering I hadn’t seen Ava since Monday and it was Thursday night, she’d been patient. At least for Ava. I’d sat back from my computer a little over an hour ago and realized my phone was lit up with text messages she’d been sending while I was engrossed with catalog copy.
Ava:Did the hot librarian tie you up and decide to hold you hostage?
Ava:I mean, not to make light of the whole idea of hostages because some weirdos in this world make that a reality I don’t want to contemplate or I’ll never use a rest area again.
Ava:And let’s be real, my bladder is too tiny to follow through.
Ava:But seriously, sis, where the hell are you?
Ava:If I don’t hear from you in the next hour, I’m pulling in the big guns.
Ava:And by guns, I mean Mom. You know I think some folks have seriously misinterpreted the second amendment in this country.
Ava:But I digress.
I laughed out loud reading through her messages. My big sister, ladies and gentleman. She was a unique human being.
Her last messages were from thirty minutes ago. Hopefully she hadn’t messaged our mom. She and Dad were traveling right now, but I knew she’d gladly team up with Ava to check in on me. Nope, that was something to avoid, though I did love my mom to pieces.
Me:Chill, Ava. I was working. What’s up?
Ava:Hal-le-freaking-lujah. I was wondering if I should round up some police officers and check on you. Though, to be fair, not a hardship. Have you met Ben Jones yet? Not hard on the eyes.
Ava:That being said, girls’ night. No getting out of it. Ivy, Gabby, and Emma are in. Ivy’s talking to Nic and Kate. We’re meeting at Homestead in an hour.
Ava:I realize that’s earlyish, but I’m not on Christmas break yet, so we’re just doing dinner and a drink or two. Can we pry you away from the hunky roommate for that long?
Me:I’m in.
I looked at Ava’s texts for a long moment, soaking them in. Just over two months ago, Ava had suggested I move to this town, assuring me that I’d find what was missing in my life.
It wasn’t Nate, as nice as whatever this was going on between us. Ava had meant I’d find community, and she was right, I had. Nic and Kate were two of my neighbors above the bookstore. We hadn’t had one of our rotating dinners this week because of the busted pipe, so I was excited to see them.
But these friendships, this feeling of belonging, wasn’t the only benefit of moving here. I was also finding myself.
I wasn’t sure how to describe it or even if I could. But it was like each day put a piece of the puzzle that was me together.
