I nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah, you should probably leave.”
He ran his thumb over my lip. “Yeah, I probably should.” His thumb trailed over my jaw and down my neck. “Right?” He arched an eyebrow and met my eyes.
I bit my lip. My heart was threatening to beat right out of my chest.
My gaze locked on his. I noted that he didn’t look away as his hands found my hips and pulled me flush against him to let me feel just how conflicted he was. “Ivy,” he whispered as he lowered his mouth to the crook of my neck. Pressing a kiss there, he continued. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, but it’s killing me. Tell me to go.”
Goose bumps raced up my arms as tingles intensified throughout my body. Without a doubt, I wanted him to stay. We needed to figure out what this was between us. I knew I had my own issues, and from what Jake said tonight about his ex, he probably did too. And I also knew I didn’t give a flying fuck right now. Yes, it was absolutely worthy of the f-word. I needed this.
“I don’t want you to go.” Damn, my voice was husky, filled with all the emotions swirling through me. I sounded like Stevie Nicks, which normally would thrill me to the point that I’d want to test it out with a song. Right now I just wanted to drag Jake to my room and jump him.
“But Addie…”
Damn Jake, trying to be responsible here. I’d been living like a nun for far too long and needed to get the show on the road.
“She won’t know a thing.” I tried to rationalize. That would work, right? There was no reason a four-year-old had to know anything about what was happening here. She was asleep, for Pete’s sake, and tended to sleep hard once she was down.
Jake gave me a skeptical look. “So we won’t tell her anything has changed?”
“Why would anything change? It’s just sex—” I got out before reflecting on how that sounded. “I mean—” I began again.
Jake shook his head. “No, you’re right. It’s just tonight. Nothing needs to change with Addie.”
“Jake, that’s not what I meant,” I began again but was quickly silenced when Jake slammed his mouth down on mine. Holy moly. Who cares about conversations? I lost myself in his mouth. Our last kiss had been amazing, sweet. Now I felt like I was being worshipped, devoured. His tongue slid against mine as our bodies collided. He moved, leading me to take a few steps. My back hit the wall and I wrapped a leg around his, pulling us together as I lost myself in the moment.
Jake’s mouth trailed down to my neck again as he dipped a finger under my dress at my shoulder and traced the neckline down over my breasts until it ended at my waist. “I’ve been wanting to do that all night. This dress was driving me crazy.”
I let my head tip back against the wall as his lips and tongue continued their assault on my neck and the edges of my breasts. His fingers found a nipple and squeezed. “And no bra, Ivy? What are you trying to do to me?”
I gasped out my answer. “Get you to do this?”
“Mission accomplished,” he murmured before letting his mouth drop to mine once again.
Minutes, hours—who knows, maybe days later—Jake pulled back and looked down at me, blue eyes crinkling in amusement as I fought to catch my breath. “Are we doing this here or in your room?”
My mind was an empty vessel.
“Doing this?”
“Sex, babe. I’m assuming that’s—”
Get with the program, Ivy.“Hell, yes, we’re having all the sex.” What did I just say? More importantly, what was the question he’d asked?
He pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose. “Okay, so we’re on board with where this is going to lead. So, couch? Kitchen counter? Dining room table? Bedroom?”
“Bedroom.” I grabbed his hand and took off through the living room and up the stairs. On the landing, I looked to the left and saw Addie’s door cracked, and I paused. “I should turn off her lamp and close her door,” I whispered.
“Got it,” Jake whispered back. “Go ahead and do anything you need in there.” He nodded to my room as he turned toward Addie’s.
I stood frozen as I watched his giant form move quietly into my daughter’s room. He leaned down, picking up her stuffed penguin from by her bed. Tucking it into her arm, he pulled the blanket up around her shoulders and leaned down, pressing a kiss to her head. As he moved to turn off her light, I fled to my room, racing to my closet.
Standing there, I pressed a hand to my chest as tears swam in my vision. No, this was not happening. I was not falling for this man. Sex. This was just sex. Yeah, he was unbelievably gorgeous. And had an amazing family. And was awesome with Addie. All that was bound to confuse everything. But this? This was sex. Sex that I needed. Nothing else, nothing more.
I yanked off one boot, then the other. Do I go ahead and just take all my clothes off? Do I put on pajamas? What was the protocol here?
“Ivy,” Jake called out in a hush tone as he walked in.
I poked my head out of the closet. “I’m just changing,” I said. Even in the darkness, I could feel his eyes on me.
