The wave of longing that hit me as I watched them rocked me. I hadn’t thought about marriage, babies, for years. Hell, since Rachel when the vision I’d had for my life went up in smoke. I mean, as I’d told Drew, I’d assumed one day it would happen for me, but that day was so far from now it wasn’t even a dot on the horizon. So why watching my friend with his wife and their unborn baby suddenly felt like a gut punch was unexplainable.
I glanced around the place as Sully and Maggie conferred with Finn. I saw my parents slip into an embrace and begin dancing, which made me lock eyes with my siblings and share a grin. Warmth flooded through me as I thought back to the times growing up that we’d walk into the kitchen to see a similar sight. We’d always groan that they were beyond embarrassing, but in all honesty, we’d loved it. They’d always been the model for me of what to look for in a partner.
Watching them sway, I paid attention to the music for the first time and smiled. I’d told Finn to put the Stapleton album that Ivy was obsessed with on our playlist for the night, and it was up. I began to look for her and found her warm eyes immediately, locked on me. I smiled, pointed to the speaker, and mouthed,For you.
Looking over my shoulder at Sully and crew, I said, “Let’s begin wrapping this up.”
Sully glanced past me and saw Ivy watching us. Giving me a knowing look, he nodded and started talking to Finn again.
“Go get her, tiger,” Maggie called. I ignored her and began making my way to Ivy, never losing her eyes as I did.
Laughter from the dance floor caught my attention as Max worked to spin Emma, her head thrown back. Sully was leading Maggie to the floor as she rubbed her belly and clearly told him he got one dance and only one.
I looked back to Ivy, watching as her smile grew the closer I got to her. I tried to tell my body to calm down, that nothing would be happening once I reached her side.
Reaching Ivy, finally, I stopped a breath away. I fisted my hands, trying to hold back from running my fingers through her hair. She had felt like she was just out of reach all night. I wanted to crush her to me, let my lips meet hers again, but I wasn’t sure if that was what she wanted. And I sure as hell didn’t want to fuck up whatever this was between us. A large part of me prayed it was the start of something more, but it had been so long I didn’t even know how to get us on that path. Were we already on it? Did that require some type of discussion or declaration? Jesus, it felt like middle school. Maybe I needed to ask Sully to have Maggie ask her if we could go steady.
“Thanks for playing this,” Ivy said, ignorant of my mental struggle.
I cleared my throat as I reached for her hand. Thankfully, she reached out, joining us together.
“Dance?” I croaked.
“Smooth, bro,” Drew said from somewhere behind me. “Sorry, Bookstore, we did the best we could with this one.”
I used my other hand to give him a one-finger salute as I brought my hand to my hair.
“Subtle.” Ivy laughed and moved a step closer to me, our chests brushing up against each other.
“You sure you missed out on having siblings?” I asked, keeping one hand clasped with mine, wrapping my other arm around her. A groan threatened to escape, she felt so damn good. Maybe I could get Sully just to kick everyone out. Now would be preferable.
Ivy snorted, then rested her head on my chest. Before I could relax into our embrace, she popped up to lock eyes with me. “I’m sorry. Is it okay to put my head there?”
I moved my hand up to lightly push her head back down. “I know you’re big on consent, Ivy, but I guarantee I’m going to say yes to anything you ask.”
“Promises, promises.”
We swayed as the music changed from one Stapleton song to the next. Ivy moved her hand from mine to my chest, which again didn’t suck. As we swayed like teens at a high school dance, her voice rose just enough that I could hear her.
“Why aren’t you with someone, Jake?”
I closed my eyes, debating how to go from here. I wasn’t sure on all of Ivy’s history, though she’d shared some over the past week. I was doing this, right?
Right.
I debated tipping her chin up to look her in the eyes, but somehow this was easier. Instead, I curled around her even more, lowering my lips to her ears.
“Ten years ago I was engaged to my high school girlfriend.”
Her body went rigid, but she didn’t speak.
Like a Band-Aid, I ripped it off. “Her name was Rachel. We dated my senior year. I followed her to college and worked while she got her degree.” I swallowed, pushing down the feelings of that time. Looking back, there were so many signs that Rachel and I weren’t right for each other. But young love. All I could see was the future. I was ready for it until I wasn’t. “In her last year of college, a month before the wedding, she called it off.”
Ivy pulled back, her eyes seeking out mine. There were tears swimming in them. But she didn’t speak, which I was glad for. I needed to finish this.
“There was someone else.”
“Bitch,” Ivy breathed out. That made me smile; she didn’t swear often.
