I held back the words that wanted to fly out. That it was none of his business, that it was my life, that I was doing just fine. Taking a deep breath, I took another one, and another. If I was being honest here, if the tables were turned, if I thought my siblings were struggling, I stuck my nose in their business too. I wanted to protect them, help them, be there for them. That’s what we did.
“Here you go.” Lauren popped up, sliding a plate of nachos in front of Drew. She dropped the plates and silverware on the table. “Anything else I can get you?”
We both shook our heads, and she left, telling us to enjoy our lunch. Straightening my back, I looked over at my baby brother. He wasn’t so babyish anymore. Drew had been gone for so long sometimes I forgot he’d grown up on us. He was almost thirty, but I still remembered the ten-year-old following around his newly teenage brother. Nothing stopped him. He would take on the world if he could. And here he was, confronting me because he was worried. I’d do well to remember that. As annoying as he was, it came from a good place.
“Drew, I’m fine. No.” I raised a hand to stop the onslaught of what I was certain was ready to come. “I get it. I really do. And you’re right. After Rachel I didn’t see the point in relationships anymore. Haven’t for a while. Part of that’s her and getting burned; part of that is being too damn busy. In that time, Sully and I began dreaming up this place. Then seven years ago, we started to make that dream a reality. For the past five years, I’ve poured myself into this place. It took us a lot of work to get to where we are right now, but I’m proud of it. Really, I am.”
“You should be. This is fucking amazing. And now that you’re canning, you guys have a new way to expand your business. But nobody? Really?” He raised a brow at me.
I shrugged. “Not sure. Just haven’t met anyone that seems worth taking the risk for, even if I did have the time.”
Now Drew leaned in. “Really? No one? Because I can think of someone.”
I leaned back with a huff. “Ivy? We’re just friends, and not even that at times. I drive her crazy and vice versa.”
“Ever think that maybe all that tension was some shit-hot sexual chemistry you should explore?”
“No.” I looked over at the bar.
“Ahh.” Drew got quiet. “So you have thought of it. And maybe explored it? Spill, bro.”
I closed my eyes, shaking my head. There was no point. “Nothing has happened. Truly.” I took a breath, looking up at the ceiling before continuing. “It’s just, well, there’s been some chemistry.”
“I’ll say. That girl is smokin’.”
I fought the bizarre urge to slug him with that comment. Jesus, I needed to get it together. “Anyway, she has a kid. You can’t do anything casual there, and I don’t know if I ever want anything serious again.”
“Again? You’re not a monk, dude. I mean, Jesus, Jake. I know you want a family one day, right? You’re not going to be that surly old man sitting on the park bench, playing chess.”
I picked up my burger and took another bite, thinking while I chewed. I mean, to be honest, I did see myself with a family one day, and time with Ivy and Addie had made that desire stronger. After Rachel, I stopped really dreaming about that for me. Like I thought it would probably happen, but didn’t do the work to get there. If I was being honest, I had zero desire to let anyone get that close to me again.
“Earth to Jake,” Drew said between bites as he inhaled his own lunch.
“You’re a caveman. Slow down.”
Drew continued eating. “Can’t. These are unreal.”
I glanced down at my watch. “I need to head soon. I’m picking Addie up and bringing her to Ivy’s.”
Drew wiped his hands on a napkin and stopped eating. Miracles do happen. “You’re hanging at Bookstore Ivy’s? Without Ivy?”
I gathered my silverware and napkin on my plate and slid it to the side. Thomas, one of our waiters, grabbed it, asking if we needed anything else. We both said we were good as everything was cleared away. Drew watched me expectantly, but I waited until we were alone.
As soon as Thomas left, Drew raised a brow and continued, “Well…”
I worked not to revert to my teenage self and tell him to shut the fuck up. “Yes, I’m waiting at Ivy’s. This week I’ve had Addie at my place, the Sullivans’, and around town. Today, I’m letting Addie show me her favorite toys.” I stood up, preparing to grab my stuff to head out.
Drew stood up as well, pulling on his jacket as he took a step to follow me. I turned, looking at him in confusion. “What are you doing?”
Drew gave me a shit-eating grin. “Oh, I thought that was clear. I’m coming with you.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Oh, big brother, we’re not done with this conversation. And I want to meet this little girl that has you so wrapped around her finger. I’m hanging out with you and Addie today.”
I briefly debated arguing with him about it, but honestly, what was the point? He’d likely just delay me getting to Addie, and I didn’t want her wondering if I was coming.
“Fine, come on,” I said as we headed for the door, knowing there was a damn good chance I would be regretting this.
