She looked serious. “Okay, babe, let’s talk this through. Were you insulted by what Taylor—that’s his name, right?”
I nodded.
“Cool. So, were you insulted by what Taylor or his boyfriend told you?”
“Nope, it was nice.”
Ivy thought about that. “So, are these tears of happiness?”
I thought about it for a minute. I did feel lighter, so maybe? “I’m not sure that’s it. I mean, yeah, sure, their words were kind. Anyone likes to know they’ve made an impact, right?” John’s face popped into my mind, and his voice reverberated through me.Keep being you, Ms. Jameson. Kids need that. Especially in a place like this.
“What is it?” Emma asked, moving closer to me. “You just thought about something big.”
“It’s nothing,” I said. “I just remembered what Taylor’s boyfriend, John, said.” Glancing at Emma and Ivy, who were watching me expectantly, I repeated his words to them.
Ivy’s face scrunched up in confusion. “So, are you insulted that he referred to Highland Falls asa place like this?”
“Nah, I know what he means. We’re just not very diverse in any way you’d look at it: race, sexual orientation, religion, etc. He was just saying my presence makes a difference, which was nice to hear.”
Ivy’s expression moved to one of skepticism. “But you already know that, right?”
I drew my eyebrows together as I thought about Ivy’s question. “Know what?”
Ivy looked over at Emma. “Is she screwing with me right now?”
Emma gave Ivy a look of solidarity. “Nope, she doesn’t see it.”
“Okay, you two nutcases. What the hell are you going on about?”
Ivy suddenly walked over to the huge chalkboard where I had written my list ofMs. Jameson recommendstitles. She waved around the board. “Do you see this?”
I glanced over the board. “See what? The notes?” The board was covered with little messages from former students telling me what books they’d purchased or what ones they recommended to me. I had been reading them and writing back during my morning shifts each day I worked.
Ivy looked up to the sky. “Goddess, give me strength.” She took a breath, then moved back in front of me. “Maggie, I think it is the rare teen, or even young adult, that willingly writes public notes to their middle school teacher about what they’re reading. And it isn’t only that. I’ve only been here a few months, but kids talk about you all the time. They tell me about your class, how you care about them, how you give them advice, how you help them find books they can see themselves in. It makes them feel less alone. Hell, they’ve stood in here and recommended books to other customers from what they’ve learned from you.”
“But—” I began.
“Nope, no disagreeing allowed here, Maggie. Emma, tell her. Am I right?” Ivy looked impatient, which was not a look I was used to on her face.
Emma nodded. “Sorry, babe. Ivy’s right. Whether you want to admit it or not, you make a difference in the lives of the kids in this town.”
I couldn’t explain why, but their words were making my heart race. “It isn’t anything anyone else doesn’t do,” I whispered.
Emma pulled me from my spot on the counter so that I was standing with her and Ivy. “Babe, there are some awesome teachers at your school, but whether it’s due to the subject you teach, the way that you do it, or likely both, you are different. These kids need you and, I’d argue, you need them.” Emma leaned forward to give me a loud smacking kiss on my cheek. Pulling back, she regarded me. “Whether you want to admit it or not, you’ve become an integral part of the fiber of this town, andthat, my beautiful friend, is what I’m betting has you freaking with this waterworks display you’ve got going on.”
My heart felt like it skipped a beat, maybe two. I couldn’t be a huge part of this town. I needed to leave. This wasn’t the plan. Closing my eyes, Taylor’s teary face from years ago, standing at his locker, popped into my mind. I shook my head and opened them, seeing the messages scrawled all over the chalkboard. I took a deep breath in, held it, blew it out, and looked at my friends. “I can’t think about this right now.”
Ivy nodded, grabbing her phone. “So, what you’re saying is that you need to dance?”
Yep, that’s exactly what I needed. “Yes.”
“Hey, you took a Sunday shift so I could get Addie to the birthday shindig of the summer. It’s the least I can do.” She scanned through her phone list. “Hmm, so how does Jeremy Loops sound?”
“Who is that?” I asked, looking at Emma who simply shrugged.
“He’s from Cape Town, and he’s amazing. Yep, this is it. I think ‘Down South’ is exactly what we need right now.” Ivy hit a button on her phone and put it on the counter. Moving to dim the lights, her arms shot up as the song began. Her body swayed to the music, eyes closed. She seemed lost into the beat that flowed through the bookstore.
Looking at Emma, I held out my hand. She slid hers into mine, and I spun her a few times before we joined Ivy, the three of us swaying and dancing in her rapidly darkening store to the beat of a singer a half a world away. I closed my eyes, visualizing Cape Town, South Africa. Thinking of this man recording this beautiful song so far away, then months or years later the three of us dancing to it in the middle of Illinois, made me feel insignificant in the scheme of life. I thought of Taylor, of my students who left messages on the chalkboard, and part of my heart swelled. I was needed. I made a difference, beyond being a little girl the town looked after. I wasn’t sure what that meant right now, but it didn’t feel so bad.
