This woman. Her brown eyes were warm, trusting. I didn’t think she had any idea how revealing her expressions were. Her uncertainty hovered just a bit under the surface, but there was also love there. Could be the kind of love between friends, but that could be a hell of a foundation to build on.
“Babe,” I whispered, overcome with my feelings for Maggie, for our little bean. I placed a knee into by her, helping to lower her down to the bed while I lay by her side. Slowly, without much thought, one of my hands came to rest on her stomach, and my gaze met hers. Keeping our eyes locked together, I leaned over and brought my mouth to her belly, kissing it with all the emotion swirling inside me. Looking up at her, I said, “It helps, Mags. And I feel it too.” Pressing another kiss to her stomach, I ran my fingers lower, teasing her inner thigh, skating over her mound, then back up. “You still feeling okay?” I ran my hands over her belly.
Maggie’s eyes focused as she looked at me. Clearing her throat, she spoke in a deeper voice than typical for her. “Yeah, Sully. Feeling pretty good today.”
I kept my eyes on hers as I placed several openmouthed kisses on her stomach. “Mags, I can’t wait to watch your belly grow.”
She blinked a few times, and I noticed moisture gathering there. Feeling concerned, I asked, “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head like she was getting rid of whatever was bothering her. I could practically see the internal conversation she was having.
“Mags,” I prompted again.
Finally she looked back at me. “I was just thinking…” Her voice trailed off.
“About?” I waited a minute or so as I stretched out next to her, letting my hands trail lightly over her body, watching goose bumps pop out in their wake.
She was watching me. “How did you know I was upset?”
I smiled, thinking of all the times over the years I’d watched her debate something in her head. Placing a finger under her jaw, I tipped her face up to be inches from mine. “Mags, we keep coming back to the same thing. Iknowyou. I’ve watched you reason with yourself on a variety of topics over the years. You get this pensive look on your face, your lips purse, and your eyes dart back and forth like you’re watching a tennis match. You did it when you were trying to decide if you should go out with that tool, Greg, in middle school. Poor choice, by the way.”
“Hey!”
“And you did it when you were trying to decide between going away to college on the east coast and staying in state.” I went on.
“Well, to be fair, the scholarship money did end up making that decision.”
“I’m just saying, how about you spit out whatever you’re debating about here because I have some other things I want to get to.” I waggled my eyebrows up and down suggestively, trying to get her to smile.
Her smile was tentative, but she also looked crazy nervous. “Maybe we should just get to those other things?” she asked in a small voice.
I ran a hand through her hair. “Nope, Maggie May. I want you to be able to experience the second time we make love totally present, not stressing out about whatever is hiding behind those eyes. Spit it out.”
She flinched a little when I saidmake love,but I chose to ignore that for the moment.
“I just got a bit emotional when you talked about watching my belly grow…”
I looked at her in surprise. “Are you freaked out about gaining weight?”
“Hell, no! I mean, I suppose I can be vain, but not that vain. The idea that I might not see my feet in a few months is a bit off-putting, but it’s for a good cause.” She rolled against me, tucking her face into my neck. “I guess I just got sad because I remembered I am only living with you until August, and you won’t be around to see this belly get bigger by the day. I mean, clearly you’ll still be here, but not like this.” She gestured between the two of us. “It just made me sad, that’s all, but it’s ridiculous. I’ll still see you.”
Arrow to the heart. Fuck. I had no desire for her to move out. But I had a feeling if I asked her to move in permanently, her walls would spring up automatically. I blocked those thoughts away with everything else I didn’t want to deal with and lightly traced little circles on Maggie’s stomach, watching her legs begin to get restless again.
“Can’t think about you leaving right now, Mags. Enjoying the moment,” I whispered against her neck.
She chuckled. “Sorry. We don’t have to talk about it right now. I’m good, swear. Back to the kissing.”
I put little openmouthed kisses down her neck. “This conversation isn’t over though.”
“But for now?”
“For now we can hit pause,” I said as my mouth found her nipple. “As long as you understand one thing.”
She gasped as I sucked on her breast. “What?”
“I’m not going anywhere, babe. Whether you are here or we’re apart, I’m in this with you.”
She was quiet as I’m sure that brain began swirling. Whatever, this baby, Maggie, me—we were connected. We just had to work out what those connections were. Later.
