Emma watched me for a moment and arched her brow, her sign indicating she knew I had more on my mind, but she wasn’t pushing me. Yet. She turned to face the counter and took a swig of her coffee. Sighing, she looked at me over her shoulder. “What’s today on a scale?”
We’d used a scale of the day since middle school. I thought about it for a moment. Still needed to think about my summer trip, my move. Still needed to share that news with Emma. Still pregnant. Still no idea what to think about that. But I was here. The sun was shining. “Hmm, the day is looking up. I’d say we’ve hit a solid eight.”
Emma gave me a smile as she turned back to the counter. I sat, shoulder to shoulder with her, and relaxed for the first time in weeks. Yep, things were looking up for sure. We’d get to the rest of it later.
7
Holding on to Dreams
Sully
Glancing at my parents sitting across the kitchen island with their coffee, pancakes stacked up in front of them, I was suddenly grateful that they were as active as they were. If not, this truth bomb I just dropped might have resulted in twin heart attacks. As it was, it seemed that they had just both fallen into silent shock together.
Lee and Anna Sullivan were, I thought most of the time, the best parents a kid could have asked for. Tough but stubborn. Fair but swift to dispense justice as they saw fit. Dad farmed, and Mom stayed home when we were kids. She was a substitute teacher in the local schools after that. Now, in their late fifties, they both worked part-time. Dad farmed as additional help when needed, but at this point he’d turned over a good deal of the work on our land. I occasionally did some work helping at the fields when my schedule allowed, but Dad mainly hired Richard as needed. Richard was a young farmer a few fields over that also farmed for Max. My parents had enough set aside for retirement but still liked to keep busy. Mom subbed if she felt like it that month or if she liked the grade level. They both loved to travel and did that much of the winter, only returning when there was no snow on the ground and planting season was imminent.
“Mom, Dad?” We might as well get on with it. “Guys?”
Dad blinked a few times, then grabbed Mom’s hand, locking eyes with her before turning back to me. He cleared his throat, and I braced. I absolutely hated disappointing them, always had. “Well, Cole. I’m not sure we know what to say. So Maggie is pregnant? Our Maggie?”
I had to smile. God, I loved them. They’d pulled Max and Maggie into their family years ago, and I could’ve predicted that this was going to go down with ensuring that she was okay first. That’s all right. That’s how they had raised us too.
“Yep, our Maggie is pregnant.” My gut clenched, waiting for their reaction while my mind was also miles away at the brewery, where I was heading next to meet with Jake and talk about moving ahead with the canning business.
Or not.
Mom looked back at my dad, then back to me. “And you’re the father?”
At this point I looked down at the counter. It was hard to look at your mom and acknowledge that you’d had sex, though she was aware I hadn’t been a virgin for quite some time considering she found my stash of condoms back in high school. Staring at the butcher-block countertops, I let it out a quiet reply. “Yep, I am the father.”
“Oh my God. I’m going to be a grandmother!” I was unprepared for her squeal of delight and looked up as she threw her arms up in the air and raced around the island. Reaching my side, she quickly squeezed any air I’d had in my lungs right out. Holy shit.
“Easy, Anna,” Dad said, moving over to where we stood. Mom looked back, and I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me just looking at the happy tears she had spilling over her lower lids.
Dad laid one of his huge hands on my shoulder. “Cole, it’s none of our business, but where do you and Maggie stand? I think I can speak for your mom and myself in that we had no idea you two were together.”
“Total shock!” Mom interjected.
God, that was so like her. She was all in, filled with joy, and only seeing the positive. Not the shit that was swirling around me. “Dad, Mom, you two are going to have to slow way down. Maggie is feeling rather uneasy about all this, and whether I’d like to pursue a relationship or not, that isn’t where she’s at right now. And you both know that while what’s going on with your first grandchild is totally your business because Mom would never stand for anything else—”
“You’re damn right I wouldn’t. So you’re saying I shouldn’t call Maggie up and offer to let her wear my wedding gown?” Mom had a familiar mischievous glint in her eyes.
Hell.
“No, Mom. No calling her. Don’t pester her. Don’t hover around her. Don’t freak her out. This is Maggie—as you said,our Maggie. Any excessive attention and she is going to burrow in and keep us all out.” I felt a bit like my heart was racing. My mom was the sweetest and kindest person I knew, but damn if she didn’t like to insert herself in any spot she felt needed. If she descended on Maggie now, Maggie would think I set it up, and then any progress I’d made last night would be gone in a flash.
Mom wrapped one arm around Dad, leaning her head on his shoulder, and looked back at me as my dad watched me with a calculated look. “Cole, I’m teasing. Of course I won’t bombard Maggie with maternal love. That isn’t something she grew up with, and as much as I’ve tried to teach her over the years, it isn’t something she feels like she deserves. We’re still working on that. But I will let her know we’re here. This is going to be a scary time for her. Maggie is going to be facing stuff she’d rather ignore. And,” she reached out, grabbing my chin and tilting it to face her just like she did years ago, “I hope you are aware we will be here for you.” I tried to tug my chin away, but she held firm. “I realize this isn’t the journey you saw yourself on yet, but it is the one that is meant for you. You are going to be a father and a damn fine one at that.”
At that, my dad was done waiting to speak. “Talk to us, son. Where’s your mind at?”
I moved away from my parents, and my gaze drifted to look out the windows. I heard my reply of being fine without even realizing I’d said anything.
“Cole,” my dad said, moving to my side and allowing an arm to lie across my shoulders. “It’s natural to be thrown, son. This wasn’t in the cards, at least, not yet.”
I shook my head, clearing out all thoughts of business. I’d deal with that soon enough. I slowly stood, wrapping one arm around my dad’s waist, and used my other arm to tug my mom to us. They, in turn, wrapped their arms around me. When I spoke, it was into my dad’s shoulder. “God, I love you two.”
Dad clasped the back of my head, “And we you, Cole Patrick Sullivan. This isn’t planned, but you are in for the ride of your life. Buckle up, kid. It’s going to be an adventure.”
My heart thudded in my chest. No, this was absolutely not the journey I saw myself on yet. I’d been ready to start something with Maggie, yes. The brewery finally didn’t require all my attention, but parenthood? In a few years, absolutely. Right now? Scary for sure. I wanted kids, always had, but trying to be there like my dad had been for us, I didn’t even remotely know how to do it, but I was going to figure it out. And to start, I had to make some business decisions, even if they weren’t what I wanted.
