“Nah, I just finished Connor’s suggestion of Barry Lyga’sI Hunt Killers. I think I might check out the sequel. I’ll leave him a note on my review sometime this weekend.”
I heard a voice in the background of the call before my dad came back. “Gotta go, honey. We’re heading in to eat.”
“Salad, Dad. Get a salad.”
He chuckled. “Not sure. My body might revolt at that much green.”
“Dad…” I pulled into the drive of my duplex and came to a stop. I turned the car off and laid my head on my steering wheel, listening to my dad and wishing he was here.
“Kidding, baby. I eat healthy, and you know it. Made that promise to you years ago.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Have fun tonight, Dad. Drive safe. Love you.”
“Love you more, babe. Always.” And then he was gone. I soaked in his voice from my car and wished that I could lean into him for a hug, wished I could sit with him for a meal. Watching Emma with her mom over the years, I’d been so damn jealous that I didn’t have my own mom. Now, with Dad’s job, I felt like I’d lost out on him too. I loved that he’d found a job that was perfect for him, but damn if I didn’t miss him.
I pulled my forehead from the steering wheel and came back to the present. After driving around for almost an hour, I was no closer to any answers than I had been before, but even the short time talking to my dad had made me feel more settled. House, pajamas, hot chocolate, and a book. Comfort. I needed that so badly right now.
Making my way to the back door, I pulled out my keys, flipping through them to find the one for my place. Stepping onto the porch, my breath caught in my throat. Sully was sitting against the door, his eyes meeting mine. His hair was wild, windblown and tousled in every direction. His jeans were well worn and had a tear in one knee as he sat with one leg out, one bent with his forearm resting on it. His thermal long-sleeve T-shirt was fitted, stretching across his chest and making me think about what it covered which, momentarily, distracted me from the fear that was making my heart race once again.
“Hey, Mags. Something you wanted to tell me?” he asked, his voice low and thick with emotion.
“Hi, Sully,” I said, my heart in my throat. The settled feeling had disappeared in a breath. Tears blurring my vision, I moved toward him.
5
Hard Conversations
Sully
I had been waiting on the deck for ten or so minutes, trying to wrap my brain around the notion that it looked like parenthood was closer than I’d ever realized. I’d worried about Maggie, my friend, for the past few hours. Maggie didn’t have a lot of family in her life beyond her dad and the family she had created for herself in mine. I was certain she was likely terrified, and knowing Mags, that would mean she would put up walls to protect herself. I had a feeling I’d better be prepared to work my ass off to break down those walls if I wanted in, and I sure as hell did.
Finally I heard Maggie’s car in the drive. Glancing from my spot on the porch, I watched as she moved up the back walk. She didn’t notice me at first as she flipped through something in her hand, but when she looked at me, she took my breath away. Normally Maggie wore expressions of amusement or one that was full of orneriness. Lately, since our night together, her expression had morphed to one of longing or sadness. I’d tried to talk to her since then, but she’d kept her distance. It’d been such an exercise in frustration. I couldn’t understand why what seemed to be the start of something beautiful had, instead, seemed to have been the end of one of the strongest friendships I’d ever had with a woman. At least that was what I’d feared. Tonight, however, her expression was not filled with amusement, orneriness, longing, or sadness, but complete bewilderment and confusion. Maggie looked like a kid who had lost her beloved dog and needed to be rescued. Her eyes met mine, and I saw they were swimming with tears.
“Hey, babe. Something you wanted to tell me?” I asked, working to keep the desire to wrap her in my arms and tell her it would all be fine at bay.
“Hi, Sully,” she whispered.
Before I knew it, she crashed into my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her. Maggie’s shoulders shook with racking sobs, and I found myself saying, “Shhh…” I rubbed up and down her back, smoothing out her hair, trying to get her together.
“Maggie, give me your key. Let’s get you in your place.”
I felt her nod her head against my chest and hand over her keys. Keeping one arm wrapped tightly around her waist, I pulled Maggie toward the door and let us into her home.
Flipping on the lights, I glanced around. I’d been here several times in the past few years with Emma. You entered the duplex in the living room, and it spilled over into a small kitchen. There was a second bedroom and bathroom off that. To the left there was a staircase that ran against the wall in the living room, heading up to her master loft. It was on the small side but worked well for Maggie. The wall under the stairs had quite a pile of boxes stacked up below it. Glancing from them to Maggie, I raised my brow. Was she already packed for her trip? What was with the boxes?
Maggie looked from my face to the boxes and back to me. “I’m supposed to go on a road trip this summer and am putting my stuff in storage while I’m gone.”
My stomach felt like it had a solid punch to the gut. I knew about the trip, but the boxes seemed like something more, though it made a shit ton of sense for her to rent this place out if she was gone for months. Looking over her face still swimming with tears, I told myself it wasn’t the time to have this conversation. I simply wanted to help her, comfort her, get her back to the Maggie I knew.
Tugging her hand, I led Maggie to her couch, and she sank down into the corner. I grabbed one of her chunky cable throws from the basket at the side of the couch. Passing her the blanket to curl up with, I took her purse from her trembling hand and dropped her keys inside while I glanced to her kitchen, then back. Typically I’d grab her a beer, wine, or something stronger. Looks like that was out. Clearing my throat, I caught her eyes. “Water?”
“Please,” she said, drawing her knees up and resting her head on them.
Placing her purse on the counter, I then moved toward the cabinet and nabbed two mason jar glasses. I filled them up with some ice and water as I watched Maggie. Her gaze was out the windows, lost. Returning to the couch, I gave Maggie a glass before sinking down next to her and placing my glass on the trunk that she used as a coffee table. I willed myself to stay calm and let her share whatever she needed to, but I also knew I’d have to get us started. I looked up to see Maggie’s watery eyes staring back at me.
“Um, so I think we have two conversations we need to have…”
“Two?” she whispered. Her brown eyes looked enormous on her pale skin.
