“Nope. Sent you a text about a half hour ago. She took off after that scene in the kitchen.”
Fuck.
“Told her to text me when she gets home. Hasn’t yet.”
I nodded, lost in thought. Maggie loved driving in the country when she was stressed. She’d done it in high school with Emma. Hell, I’d driven her around more than once over the years. Her senior year she’d been at my parents’ place a lot. I’d driven her around while she’d worked through college decisions. My guess right now was that she was driving over country roads, windows down, music blaring, hair flying. I just hoped she was okay emotionally. And I wished like hell I was with her.
I stood suddenly. I couldn’t be with her wherever she was, but I needed to be waiting when she got home. Handing my untouched bottle to Max, I said, “I’ve gotta go.”
Max looked up at me. “Not going to pry, man, but know Emma and I are here for whatever you need.”
“Means a lot.” I headed down the walk to my bike.
Minutes later I was on the road and headed for Maggie’s, praying I’d get there before her. There were so many emotions warring inside me. Nervousness about being able to provide for Maggie and the baby, fear that Maggie would just up and leave, but what was coming through more and more was excitement. A baby. Maggie and I made a baby. Somehow, without having even seen her, I knew it was my baby. Maggie didn’t date a lot, and there was always a chance, but the feeling in my gut was that it was mine.
Wasn’t it just a few hours back that I told Jake I wasn’t ready for kids? I guess that plan got shot to shit.
The fact that my plans were down the toilet made me think of Maggie once again. She was just as much of a planner as I was. How was she feeling about all this? Had she had anyone to talk to, to help calm her down?
Pulling into her drive, I parked back by her place and glanced around. Her car wasn’t here. Just in case, I jogged up her walk to the back door and knocked. Nothing. Peering into her duplex, it was dark. I knocked again, just in case. Nothing.
I turned to sink down onto her porch. Leaning my back against her place, I stretched out my legs to wait. Hopefully she’d be home soon. We had a lot to talk about.
4
You Need Me
Maggie
The interaction of two country roads flowed under my car, giving my belly a floaty feeling. Emotions rolled through me like waves as I worked to center myself. Some of that yoga stuff would sure come in handy right now. Emma had recently introduced me to a new band, Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats. They were amazing, but his solo album was speaking to me. Currently it was blaring from my stereo and out my open windows to the rapidly darkening sky. Wind in my hair, I sang out Rateliff, praying that it was actually still all right as he suggested.
Thinking back over the past hour, I shuddered as I remembered the pregnancy test flying out of my bag like some bad joke in a rom-com. Emma had been working her way up to the counter so that she could sing to her adoring fans when the shit hit the fan, as it was. She’d hopped down immediately to help me pick up, and we’d both seen it. My heart had thudded, thinking maybe if I threw it in my bag quickly, she wouldn’t be sure what she saw, but no dice.
Emma looked from the test in her hand to me and back to the test. In her eyes I saw what I’m sure was mirrored in my own: confusion, hope, fear, excitement, circling back to confusion. “Mags, by any chance do you happen to have someone else’s pregnancy test in your purse that you’re holding on to for safekeeping?”
I looked at her with what I was certain was a look of incredulity. “What in the hell would I keep someone else’s pee stick for?”
Meeting my eyes, she whispered, “Just trying not to jump to conclusions about my best friend being pregnant.”
With that, I promptly burst into tears. Since we were already on the floor, Emma tossed the test to the side and slid to encircle me with her arms and legs. I curled into her and cried, cried, cried. I paused for a minute, certain that there could be no more tears left, and then they came again. Emma didn’t say a word beyond murmurs to comfort as she smoothed her hand up and down my back as we rocked back and forth.
My brain was pinging from thought to thought without focusing on any one thing too much. If I let myself focus, I’d have to acknowledge I was up the proverbial creek. Finally the tears subsided,and Emma pulled back to smooth down my hair and wipe the tears from my face.
“Sweetheart,” she whispered, “what do you need? Where do I need to bury the body?” She glanced over my shoulder at the back deck. Shit. Max was out there. He hadn’t come in, so I was guessing he’d seen the meltdown and stayed far away. Smart man. She appeared to make eye contact with him, then looked back to me. “Max is good for a lot of things, and he will absolutely help us if we need to smack someone down. Just say the word.”
A feeling of dread washed over me. Would she say that if she knew who had knocked me up? And Sully didn’t deserve a smackdown. If anything, I did. I’d ghosted him when he’d been perfectly wonderful. My gut clenched as I realized that was a conversation I did not want to have.
Looking back at Emma, I whispered, “Time.I just need some time.”
Emma kissed my forehead and whispered back, “You have that, my friend. I’m here, we’re here, whatever you need. Anytime,day or night.” And then she simply hugged me tight and let me stand.
Tears still swimming in my eyes, I pulled her up. “Right now what I need is to go home. I’m so sorry.” I could tell she wanted to ask me to stay, but I needed quiet. I also needed to sort my shit so I could really talk to her about this.
“Can I give you some food to take home? I bet the steaks are done,” she asked, squeezing my hand.
“No, I’m good. Rain check?”
“Of course. Babe, you know…” Her voice trailed off.
