“Shit,” Marcus breathed.
“Yes, exactly. Shit. Kimiko’s probably going to have to go home to Japan unless she can find another job here, and I don’t know what Ricky’s going to do. He’s absolutely gutted.”
Of course he was. The guy had spent a decade in the corps and was just promoted to soloist last season. Marcus started to reply, but Alice kept talking.
“So I thought, ‘Gee, I sure hope no one else in the company is sneaking around and violating Peter’s policy, because that would be a really stupid, really easy way to get fired, too.’” She looked at Marcus, arms crossed over her chest.
He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. “I...I agree. That would be stupid.”
She glared at him. “Especially, if, for example, that person had spent a whole year in Shaz’s office, trying to get back into shape.”
When Marcus said nothing, Alice shook her head in disgust. “I don’t believe you.”
“How did you know?”
Alice’s eyes widened. “That’s your response? ‘How did you know?’ Not, ‘I’m sorry for lying to your face, Alice?’ Or for endangering your entire career—and Heather’s, by the way? Or for jeopardizing everything you worked for in the last year, thehell yearI just spent supporting you through? All so you could be her rebound from her dickhead fiancé? Fucking hell, Marcus, what were you thinking?”
Marcus had only ever seen Alice lose her temper few times, and only ever at people who truly deserved it. He hung his head, remorse gnawing at him. She was right, of course. He hated that she was right, but she was right.
“And as for how I found out, my girlfriend told me. She saw you come out of Heather’s dressing room looking extremely flustered a few weeks ago. And I kept waiting for you to tell me, but you never said anything. You just cut me out and lied to me.”
Marcus’s head snapped up. Girlfriend?
“Oh yeah, by the way, I’m dating a woman, which I would have told you if I thought we were still being honest with each other.” Alice glowered at him, and he felt as though she’d slapped him. Even worse, he felt he deserved it.
Marcus ran a hand through his hair. Alice had known about him and Heather the whole time, and worse, she had known he was lying to her from the start. She’d been the one to squeeze his hand right before he was rolled in for his first surgery, and the one who had waited until he came out from under the anaesthetic, because his mum was taking care of his dad. She’d helped him into his suit for the funeral and made sure he ate enough protein and drank enough water in those first miserable months. And this was how he’d repaid her. Shit, he’d really fucked up.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I wanted to tell you, but it just seemed too risky. I mean, look at Ricky and Kimiko. But I should have trusted you. I’m really sorry.”
Alice frowned and exhaled sharply through her nose but said nothing. He interpreted that to mean she accepted his explanation, even if she didn’t accept his apology. He’d take what he could get.
“So, the girl you’re dating works at Dancewear Central?” he asked, tentatively. “And she saw us?”
“The woman I’m dating is the manager at Dancewear Central,” she corrected. “She texted me the moment you two left the shop a few weeks ago to say she had had Heather Hays and some ANB guy in the shop and she was pretty sure something happened inher fitting room. I mean, I assume she disinfected the cubicle and then texted me. Which brings me back to my original question: what the fuck are you thinking?”
“I know it’s risky, but we’ve been trying to keep it quiet,” he said desperately.
Alice snorted. “Well, you’re doing a bang-up job. Izzy doesn’t even work with us and she figured it out, and I’ve known for weeks. This is you trying to keep it quiet? I’m surprised Peter hasn’t already found out, kicked you out of the company, and sent Heather packing.”
She was right. For all their attempts at subterfuge, they’d been reckless, and he’d been a shitty friend. But even as his face flushed with embarrassment, he found himself wanting to defend their actions.
“Listen, I know I screwed up,” Marcus argued. “And I know what we’re doing is against policy, and that’s bad, but...I don’t know...it’sgood. It feelsgood. You said it yourself that I seem happier lately. She makes me feel like myself again.”
And after the year he’d had, didn’t he deserve to feel like himself again? He looked at Alice, who seemed to understand what he wasn’t saying. Her face softened, and she sighed, leaning reluctantly against his kitchen counter. Marcus took a step towards her, unwilling to get too close in case she unloaded on him again.
“No one wants to see you happy more than me, okay?” Her was tone gentler now. “But Heather isn’t a walking antidepressant, she’s a person. And what you’re doing could jeopardize her job and yours. Look what just happened to Ricky and Kimiko. And Adrian and Robbie last year? What if you get caught, too?”
Marcus said nothing. Again, she was right, and he couldn’t deny it.
“I mean, you just got back on your feet,” she went on. “All that work with Shaz so you can dance again...do you really want to risk it all—for what? For casual sex? For a short-term whatever? She’s leaving after the run ends. What’s your endgame here, exactly?”
Marcus frowned at her question and ran his hand through his hair, trying to think of an answer. Was this just casual sex?On paper, he supposed that’s exactly what it was. What they’d agreed to.
But it didn’t feel casual. Waking up every morning to Heather curled in a gentle question mark against his torso, her long, glossy hair tangled on his spare pillow, that didn’t feel casual. Feeling her rib cage inflate and contract under his arm as she slept didn’t feel casual. Watching as, every so often, one of her feet twitched under the covers, like she was attempting tendus in her sleep, didn’t feel casual. And it all felt like it was worth the risks he was taking.
“I don’t know what the endgame is, okay?” Marcus said finally. “But I really like her, Alice. That’s all I know right now.”
Alice sighed and shook her head. “Well,Iknow this is a mistake. For about eighty-seven different reasons. But your secret is safe with me.”
