Specifically Dude Number One.
I know because his picture is next to his name on the byline. Chassen Donato. Douche name. Seems appropriate. I read the article aloud.
Curse of the Birds
Chassen Donato, reporting for ESPN.com
Some say birds are bad luck. USSL soccer player Xavier Henry would disagree. His family owns and runs Henry Hawkery in Avon County, England, where they provide rescue and rehabilitation for birds of prey, specifically owls, hawks, and falcons, according to the family website.
"This is good so far. Maybe it can get your family some business and attention."
"Keep reading," Xavier growls.
Folklore has it that birds, especially owls, can be bad luck. While Xavier Henry may disagree, it's time for him to rethink his position.
Ouch.
Xavier was a rising star in England, named Defenseman of the Year in the British Football League in 2016. The same year, "Bird Man" was named to the BSL National Team, earning a starting spot representing England for the Global Games. You may not remember him from that stellar tournament in which the Brits came from behind to win the entire thing. That's because the night before the team announcement, Xavier did the unthinkable.
The pit in my stomach plunges down to my toes as I read the recap of the accident and the accusation that Xavier was drunk driving and almost killed Phaedra Jones.
Since then, Xavier hasn't been able to set a cleat on a British football pitch. Hiring super slick agent Anthony Bardolello, Xavier negotiated a position starting for the Baltimore Terrors in the USSL in 2017. As reported previously on this site, Anthony Bardolello is the sports agent accused of falsifying contracts, misrepresenting clients, and embezzling almost half a million dollars from his firm, Fast Feet, PLLC, before disappearing a month ago.
At the time of his disappearance, Bardolello was said to be working on a large trade deal with his number one client, Xavier Henry. Following the return to play after the COVID-19 hiatus year, the Baltimore Terrors had the worst record not only in their division but the entire USSL. Xavier Henry, said to be quite upset with the leadership and direction of Baltimore under owner Vincent Camacho and head coach Ted Masters, saw little playing time this past season.
However, because of his English citizenship, Xavier Henry isn't eligible for trade until the international window in March. This is where it gets interesting and like something out of a tabloid or made-for-TV movie.
Enter viral ClikClak star, Ophelia Finnegan. You may know her by the handle @LovelyLia. She rose to social media notoriety in early October (pay attention to the timeline here, because it's important), when she filmed a series of ClikClak videos in which she supposedly staged a surprise visit to her boyfriend, Trent Carlson, who, coincidentally, is the athletic trainer for the Baltimore Terrors. The #romanticsurprise hashtag went viral, propelling LovelyLia to internet fame. Other ClikClak videos from that same event show an interesting twist: the entire thing was recorded by none other than Xavier Henry. A mere week or so later, Ophelia Finnegan (LovelyLia's real name) and Xavier Henry were posting together in Boston. About the same time, Xavier was spotted at a Boston Buzzards game and was rumored to be in trade negotiations with Buzzard's owner, Robert Miller and former coach, Bjorn Janssen.
Throughout the article, words are hyperlinked. I don't even need to click on them to know they will take the eager reader to our social media.
A mere three weeks after the #romanticsurprise viral video, another ClikClak video of Xavier Henry and Ophelia Finnegan surfaced, indicating that the couple is married. While this may not be a big deal in and of itself, Ophelia Finnegan, up to this point, had been publicly posting about her career as an 'accountant' and asking the whole of ClikClak to set her up on dates. Due to content restrictions on the app, users on ClikClak will substitute terms so posts don't get flagged for violating community standards. A well-known substitution is to use the profession of accountant in place of sex worker.
I have to put my hand over my mouth to avoid throwing up.
It appears that Ms. Finnegan, or should we say, Mrs. Henry, conspired to commit fraud against the United States government in an erroneous attempt to help Xavier Henry gain accelerated citizenship. Financial details of this arrangement have not yet been disclosed, but Ms. Finnegan's family knew nothing of the relationship or the marriage.
However, candid, sordid, and sexually graphic details are available from Ms. Finnegan's own hand. Writing under the nom de plume of "Lia Finn," Ms. Finnegan is publishing serial chapters to her forthcoming novel,Stolen Stars, on the Wattpad website. She has made ClikClak videos about her debut smutty novel, which is basically mommy porn.
Vincent Camacho, Baltimore Terror's owner, said he's "very disappointed in the actions and associations Mr. Henry has chosen to align himself with, including Mr. Bardolello and Ms. Finnegan." Boston Buzzard's owner, Robert Miller, declined to comment other than, "Mr. Henry is not on our roster, and he has no formal business dealings with the Boston Buzzards."
I can't even finish the closing paragraphs. I run to the bathroom and vomit the bile in my stomach.
I've ruined Xavier's last chance.
Chapter 42: Xavier
I listen to Ophelia retching in the bathroom, knowing I had a similar experience when I read the article myself.
And to think that I shared a meal with the tosser who penned it.
Tosser isn't strong enough. Bloody fucking wanker.
Who knew he was a journalist for ESPN?
And what a juicy story it is. Granted, except for the Phaedra bit, it's not untrue. That's the terrible part. He didn't come right out and say that Tony and I were in cahoots, but it's implied.
And as damaging as if it were actually true.
