"Let's do notes, and then we'll try again."
The run time is supposed to be about two hours and forty-five minutes, not accounting for the intermission. We aren't even doing it full out with set changes, and it took us almost three and a half hours.
"First note," Henderson bellows. "You have to learn your lines. Off book and on cue."
It's probably Henderson's favorite direction to give. I see Blaze glancing at his notebook. "Tim," he mouths.
Dammit.
Then I start listening to Henderson's notes. He's saying Leslie's name. A lot. Even though I vowed not to look at her, I can't help but glance, just to see how she's handling this.
Her face is devoid of all expression. It's like she's a corpse, standing there. She looks pale and blank.
Oh shit.
Chapter 15: Leslie
Queen, you gotta take this in stride. It's not the end of the world."
Except it pretty much is.
I am a complete and total failure. I'm not even being dramatic or down on myself this time. I totally blew it in our first run-through. The second wasn't much better. I think I remembered three more lines and hit two more notes correctly. Other than that … yikes.
Levi tries to comfort me, much like he tried to carry me throughout our two run-throughs. We're on round number three—going on hour twelve of rehearsal—and I want to crawl in a hole and never come out again.
"I'm the worst one here," I whisper. "And I'm not even saying that for attention. I'm so not up to par, it's not even funny."
My brain has become a massive sieve, letting everything I'm supposed to remember slide through. I'm used to knowing the choreography for entire ballet productions. I could do it in my sleep. But now, I'm so freaked out about remembering my lines and how to sing that I can't even do a basic châiné turn without tripping on my own two feet.
I bet Henderson regrets calling me in. They probably could have called someone in off the street and had better results. I say as much to Levi.
"Yeah, I don't think so. You're rough today. Tomorrow will be better."
"I don't think it can be any worse."
Levi puts his arm around me. I lean my head on his shoulder, wishing it was someone else's arm. But still, the environment here is so supportive. I keep waiting for the claws to come out or for someone to push someone else down a flight of stairs or something. I certainly never felt this kind of warmth or acceptance in the FBBC.
"Come on. Let's go to the rehearsal room. They're breaking down Tabitha and Marcelina's songs right now. I'm not sure they're going to get back to us tonight anyway."
As Levi and I head out of the auditorium, I catch Josh's eye. He gives me a tight-lipped smile. It's one of the few that's been directed at me the entire time I've been here.
What's it supposed to mean? Was it encouraging? Was he laughing at me? Is he thinking that I deserve to make a fool of myself because I made a fool of him?
"Now that's some serious eye lovin'." Levi links his arm through mine.
Shit. He caught me.
"Huh? I don't know what you're—"
"Seriously, queen, do not pull that on me. I saw the way you were looking at him."
"There were no looks. Who are you even talking about?"
"He's super cute, but totally focused on his music. Somebody makes a pass at him every year, but as far as I know, he's never bitten. Trust me, most of us have tried to be bit. Oooh, can you imagine those deliciously straight teeth sinking into your skin?"
I don't even have to imagine. I had a hickey on my bottom for a week after I left camp.
Of course, it's not like I can say that to Levi. Levi might be my biggest ally here, but he's also a tremendous gossip.
