22
Austin
As sappy as it was, I sat on the couch, my hand in Ford’s like we were teenage lovers.
I didn’t hate it.
My body was turned to face him, my knee resting on the couch and head tilted against the back cushion. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Currently, my focus was on his lips as he told me about his horrible dating history.
I hated every single minute of it, but I’d asked for this, so I very well couldn’t change my mind and tell him to stop. I knew what jealousylookedlike, and I didn’t want to be that person.
Ford wasn’t mine.
I wasn’t his.
I didn’t even know that I could feel like this until three days ago. I didn’t want to question it too much, at least not yet. For now, I wanted to enjoy this, whatever the hell this was.
Ford and me.
Just… Ford and me.
Nothing to think too deeply into. Nothing to get caught up in. I told myself not to make it complicated, though I knew that wasn’t going to be something I could do for long.
“It was a disaster,” he said, pulling me back in the moment.
Right, he was talking about a date he had with this guy he’d run into at the grocery store and how the man had flirted with him right there in front of the oatmeal. Which, I’d just learned,was the very thing Ford ate for breakfast nearly every morning— oatmeal, not random grocery store guys.
“I don’t know why I even agreed to go out with him,” he said, rolling his eyes, mostly at himself, I figured.
Because you secretly have a soft spot and didn’t want to hurt his feelings,I thought.
Hard to hate the date for that reason alone.
“That was my last attempt at dating.” His smile dimmed.
I wanted to make the smile come back to his face but I didn’t think pointing out how my last relationship had ended would have helped the situation. Besides, it still ached too much. I might not have loved Tessa like a boyfriend should, but I did love her. I cared about her. That love was there in the memories of her that haunted me nearly every day. Same as the guilt. After all, I was the one who brought her into a monster’s home and let her get trapped by him.
“Hey,” he said softly.
I blinked back into focus, finding his face inches from mine. His brow had a deep crease in the middle and his brown eyes were full of concern.
“Sorry,” I said, fighting against the natural instinct to want to pull away. It was woven in my bones to keep distance between people and myself, both physically and emotionally. But I didn’t want to do that with Ford. I didn’t want to pull away. “Dating seems like a nightmare.”
“It can be.” He gave my hand a comforting squeeze. “But it can also be fun.”
He leaned in another inch, his lips so close to mine. I didn’t hesitate to close the small distance between us and press my mouth against his. I could tell by the way his lips went soft and gentle against mine that this wasn’t going to be as heated as it had been before. This wasn’t like the pent-up barn kiss. Or the ones we shared with matching heat in our eyes and dirtythoughts running through our minds. This was saying we had time. Time to savor one another and whatever this was between us.
I pulled away, blinking my eyes open. The smile on my face was real and I didn’t try to hide it this time.
He wore a matching one that I couldn’t look away from. The light of the fire flickered and danced against his skin, making his stubble glow with hints of copper. I ran my thumb over it because it didn’t look real. And I wanted to feel it. A huff of a laugh slipped past my lips as his short hair tickled my skin.
“I normally don’t go this long without shaving,” he told me.
“Maybe you should start,” I teased, but was also being serious because I really liked how it felt.
And because I was a little drunk off of the kiss we’d just shared— and really, just the romantic moment we were sharing in general— I pulled his face closer so I could brush my lips along his stubble. His inhale was sharp, causing me to smirk against his skin. I liked bringing out these kinds of reactions from the stiff, stern agent man.
I kissed the corner of his mouth. His cheek. The curve of his jaw.
