I hadn’t expected his arms to be so… sculpted. His shoulders were defined, biceps bulging with prominent veins snaking down. His waist was trim, and the little hint of skin peeking out where the tank had ridden up was obscenely taunting me.
His mouth parted as he looked down at me. I fought against the urge to swallow.
The way he was looking at me… I wasn’t sure I understood it, but I think a long-lost part of me might have. Or was it more like this sleeping part of me, a part that had been dormant my whole life, had been shocked to life now?
I knew I should have reached for a shirt or at the very least, tossed myself under the covers. But I sat there frozen, staring at him while he stared at me.
It took everything in me to move my gaze away from his face. Though, I quickly realized that was a mistake because I couldn’t stop my eyes from zeroing in on his strong arms again. The lines of tight muscle. The dark hair covering his forearm. The way his big hands looked both rough and comforting.
Fuck!
I understood the general idea of what attraction was, despite what some of my team members liked to think. Yeah, I was very much aware of how they thought I was clueless because I had never been good at picking up when someone was flirting with me. Little did my non-blood-related brothers know, I hadn’t ever really cared if anyone was flirting with me because I hadn’t wanted anyone to be interested in me that way. Men, women, nonbinary… it didn’t matter, I was never interested.
I never gave it much thought before, mostly because I figured it was a part of me that I’d pushed away due to the shit that had happened in my past.
But, what if it had been something else? What if I’d been using that as an excuse for years?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I hadn’t wanted anyone to be attracted to me because attraction had always been such a strange concept to me.
Sitting here on my bed, eyes unable to look away from Ford, I fully understood the meaning of attraction.
What I didn’t understand was why the hell I was feeling it now, and why was I feeling it when I was looking at Ford.
“Um,” he said, then cleared his throat and dropped his gaze to the floor. “I wanted to make sure you’re done in the bathroom before I jump in the shower.”
“Uh-huh,” was all I managed to get out. My lids blinked rapidly as I swallowed hard, forcing myself to find my voice again. “I mean, yeah, I’m done.”
“Great. Thanks,” he said, then quickly turned around to leave.
“The water might be cold. Sorry,” I called out.
“Might not be a bad thing,” I barely heard him say.
My mouth parted, ready for some witty comeback to toss at him, but I found myself lost for words.
This might have been the first time anyone had ever left me speechless.
I flopped back on the bed, giving myself over to this strange unknown territory that I had stumbled into. Because whatever the hell was going on here, it was not something I could fight. The only thing left to do was to figure out what it meant.
16
Ford
Boredom had gotten to me.
There wasn’t much to do in the house. I could only offer to do something so many times.
Austin wouldn’t let me cook. He wouldn’t let me chop wood or stack it. He wouldn’t let me clean the floors, even though they could have used a quick sweep, or given the house a good dusting, which it most certainly needed.
Hedidlet me clean up the dishes after we ate, and he barely trusted me with the laundry, but he still gave me the freedom to do it without him looking over my shoulder. But that was all, and it never kept me busy for long.
That kind of attitude didn’t leave me feeling comfortable. I was basically roaming the house afraid to touch anything.
Well, Ihadbeen almost afraid to touch things.
I was done with sitting around.
NowI was taking a closer look at things. Or snooping, as some might call it. Everything I looked at was sitting out in the open, so I didn’t feel like I was intruding…much. Besides, Austin was in the next room making another stew for dinner, so it wasn’t like I was trying to hide what I was doing.
