“I will not leave until I have confronted Mother. Nothing can be determined until she has had a chance to explain herself,” Frederick replied, shifting the topic away from matchmaking and back to more pressing issues.
“It is unlikely that she will awaken until the morn. If you wish to speak with her, you will need to remain the night,” Josephine pointed out.
Frederick nodded. He paused and laid his hand upon her elbow. Against his better judgement, he broached the subject of Lt. Buckworth once more, unable to let the matter rest. He was uncertain how long the soldier would be in his employ and did not wish to let him go without them having first met. “About the lieutenant…” The look on her face told him such conversation was not welcome. “I am sorry that I offended you with the idea of an introduction. It was not my intent.”
“I understand. You are simply attempting to do what you feel is best for me, but I am capable of finding a suitable suitor on my own.”
“When? You never leave Chescrown. You were born here and have never been anywhere else. When would you ever have the chance of meeting anyone suitable?”
“I am surrounded every day by other servants and frequently meet with the estate’s tenants for various reasons throughout the year.”
“You deserve better than a servant,” Frederick argued indignantly.
“I am a servant, Frederick, lest you have forgotten.” Josephine’s face showed her amusement at his words.
“Yes, but you are not like the others of your class. You are beautiful, intelligent, charming…”
“So are many others of my station. The difference lies in that I am your childhood playmate and they are not. Our friendship clouds your judgement in what is considered suitable for me in a husband.”
“And I suppose you consider that rapscallion of a footman Greeves to be a suitable candidate?” Frederick bit off angrily. He could not understand why he was so angered at the notion, but he was. He was angry enough to enter the house and punch the young man right in his face. Perhaps then he would not be so charming to look upon.
“I do believe that you, Frederick Hadley, are jealous,” Josephine noted, amused.
“Do not be ridiculous. What cause would I have to be jealous of a footman?”
“Only you can answer that question,” Josephine remarked, lifting her brow in inquisition.
“I simply believe that you deserve better than to carry on a flirtation with someone of his ilk.”
“And what ilk is that?” Josephine challenged.
“Low born,” Frederick answered, feeling as though he were digging his own grave with every word he uttered.
“I am low born. Is that not the crux of the matter betwixt us that makes me an unsuitable bride for Your Lordship?” Josephine’s words bit into Frederick with such force that he felt it to the very marrow of his bones.
“Yes, it is,” he admitted, shamed.
“You concern yourself with the affairs of my heart when you should be seeing to your own. I did not ask for, nor do I need your help, Frederick. You have made my place in the social order quite clear. It appears the only one of us who needs reminding of it now is you.” Josephine turned away from him and walked back toward the house without another word.
Frederick watched her walk away and felt his heart constrict in his chest. He fought the urge to run after her and take her into his arms. He had rejected her for so long, keeping her at a distance so as to spare them both the inevitable heartache, but as he watched her disappear from sight he could not help but regret his words. He wanted to cry out, ‘Jo, do not leave me,’but instead, he stood there on the banks of the pond where she had almost lost her life, never having felt more alone.
Chapter 7
What nerve!Josephine fumed with anger as she stomped back up to the house.What makes him think he has the right to determine who is and is not suitable for my life? Of all the blatant attempts to exert power and control…
Josephine stopped herself. She knew Frederick was not that kind of a nobleman. He had spent their entire lives treating her as an equal but in the one regard pertaining to marriage. She should have been pleased that he wanted only the best for her, but instead, she had felt nothing but anger and resentment. He did not deserve that. He had treated her better than anyone else would have had she been on another estate. The fact that she was in love with him was her fault, not his.
He had never once led her along in any way. It had been she that had fallen for his kind and loving nature. He had played no part in it that could have been frowned upon and yet she was angry with him as if he had. She was more determined than ever to prove that she could find his equivalent among her own class. Her love for Frederick had started with friendship so the best way to allow her heart to move on would be through the same.
She ran through the list of appropriate candidates in her mind. She loathed admitting it, but Frederick was right. There were not very many men available to choose from; most on the estate were married. The few that were not were a great deal older than herself. It occurred to her that this was not the usual way to go about finding a suitor, but she had never flirted about as her fellow maids had done. All of this was new to her.
Once she had weighed her options, she understood why both Frederick and Mr. Tatham had warned her away from pursuing Owen Greeves in any way. He was the only age-appropriate male within the household other than Frederick.
They will not be pleased if I openly defy them in this way, but what other choice do I have available to me?
The object of her thoughts passed by the doorway in front of her and she paused before entering.
If I pursue Owen, they warned me there was no way to return from such a flirtation without being tarnished, but I do not understand why. Other maids have flirted with him, and no one has thought any differently about him. What makes me so special in this regard?She did not understand either man’s insistence.
