I want to shout thatI love him, too. But I don’t.
I don't say anything.
Instead, I stay silent, turn my head to lean on my window, and cry for my friend whose entire life is about to change.
No matter how badly I want to, I won't be able to fix this for her.
But I can try. I can be there for her in any way she needs, because I love her. Iwanther to know and see that I love her. At this point, my own life is on the back burner. My wants, my needs,Jett…
As for him and I, although I’m tired of fighting what we are, I’ve accepted that we can neverbe, and the realization crushes me.Right person, wrong time? Something like that.
Especially now.
Via has to be my focus and my purpose.
Not to mention, I’m in no way healed from my past enough to accept the love he’s capable of giving and provide the love he deserves.
The icing on this tragic fucking cake.
So, like always, I keep my feelings bottled up and sit quietly for the rest of the drive. I allow myself time to cry and grieve what will never be, before I have to be strong forher.
Chapter nine
Jett
June 2017
"We're sorry, your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. The number you have reached has a voicemail box that has not been set—"
"Damn it!" In a deep growl, I shout through the silence, ending the call and throwing my phone across my bedroom.
It’s all been shit since that day.
We found Via and Ander at the beach house.
What followed was one of the worst days of my life. Still, it was a cake walk compared to Via’s day. She lost everyone. Her dad, mom, and sister. Everyone except her scumbag brother, Liam. Understandably, something snapped in Via that day, and she, in turn, broke Ander’s heart, tossed him to the side like he meant nothing.
I haven't heard back from Izzy in days, and it's been tough as shit. The last time she answered my call was so I could check on Via for Ander. Now, every call to her goes unanswered and unreturned. Not only is my little brother hurting from his loss ofnot having Via in his life, but I'm just here trying to be strong for him while I'm the one suffering alone in silence.
Clearly, she’s busy with Via, just like I'm busy with Ander, but she could take a fucking second to reach out to me, even if she doesn’t wantmore; we’re still friends, damnit.
Part of me is pissed at her for the distance she insists on placing between us, while the other part just misses her and wants to hear her voice.
If this were anyone else, I would’ve given up long ago. On her, I just can't. She's the one for me. I know it, and she knows it. She's just too chicken shit to act on it. Instead, she takes the coward's way out and pushes me away until she can't take the distance anymore. I'm sick of playing by her rules, and quite frankly, I'm over her game of tug-of-war.
Getting more annoyed with each passing second, I pad through my room to my phone. As much as I would like to sayfuck the phone calland show up at her house, demanding she speak to me, I can’t. Or, I won’t.
If I saw Via while Ander’s suffering and didn’t bring him along, he’d never forgive me. And I’d never forgive myself for being a shitty, selfish brother.
So, picking up the phone, I decide to call in for backup, and he answers on the first ring.
"Hey, Jett!"
"Kas," I clear my throat before continuing.
Izzy’s older brother, Kasten, and I are good friends; we always have been. He's actually one of my best friends. We just click. Although he hasn't been too fond of me messing around with his sister, he knows my feelings for her run deep. It's obvious, just by the way I am with her. Hell, it’s obvious to everyoneexcept her, apparently. Although he accepts me and Izzy's "situationship," I don't typically discuss her with him. I respect him and our friendship too much to push that boundary.
"How's it going?" I attempt to keep my words even, but my voice falters, causing the words to come out pained.
