But those were thoughts I would consider more deeply when I wasn’t buried in grief. When I didn’t feel like my world had shattered, and I was being suffocated every second.
“Fuck, I wish I could take away your pain. But I’m not going anywhere for a good long time. I’m so sorry, baby girl. I’m so sorry.”
The tears began again, only this time they were slower. I laid my head back down and nestled back against Beckett’s hard chest. I focused on the slow pounding of his heart and counted each intake of breath until my own matched.
The easy pace must have finally lulled me to back sleep,because when I regained consciousness, I heard voices. I didn’t immediately open my eyes, instead enjoying that sweet place between wake and sleep.
“How are you?” I heard Beckett ask. “Did you get any sleep?”
“I did, I did.” I recognized Grams’s voice. “And I’m doing okay. At least I will be. We had such a beautiful, full life together. I was so lucky to have her.”
More awake, I tried not to stir and disturb their conversation.
“Please let me know if I can do anything. I want to help in any way I can.”
“That’s really sweet, Beckett, but you’re doing everything we need. Taking care of our Addie Wren—that’s what Helen would want, too. If she’s okay, I’m okay.”
Beckett’s arms tightened around me. “I’m going to do everything I can to make sure she’s okay. That’s she’s taken care of.”
“I know you will.”
FORTY-NINE
HAUNT ME
Beckett
“I’m so tired of crying,”Addison mumbled, taking a sip of her lemonade as she leaned against the wall behind her. We were standing along the perimeter of the small reception hall of the church. The service had been beautiful and a great way to celebrate an amazing woman. They’d also planned a small graveside service for the immediate family and a few close friends.
But the turnout at the reception was incredible. It was obvious she’d touched so many people’s lives. Even my parents, Andrew, and my Aunt Michelle had all attended the service and the first part of the reception. It was good they got to meet Grams.
“If this was spiked lemonade, that would at least make me feel better.”
She was staring down at her drink like it had offended her and scrunched her nose in disgust.
“Sorry, I forgot my funeral flask in my other suit.”
A hint of a smile flashed across her lips, and she snorted a laugh as she peeked up at me.
“What a bummer.”
Tossing an arm over her shoulder, I tucked her into my side, and we watched everyone mingle. There were bursts of laughter, and you could occasionally hear a story about Helen. Especially during her photography days.
“This shouldn’t last much longer if you need to leave,” Addison said, and I peered down at her like she’d lost her damn mind.
“I’m here for the duration, baby girl. I’m here for cleanup, unpacking, and everything else.”
Addison looked like she was prepared to argue with me, but Grams’s timing was perfect. She sidled up on the other side of Addison.
“Probably another half an hour and then we can start ushering people out,” she said. “And I actually have something for the two of you. I’ve been looking for the perfect time, and I’m not sure that really exists. So…”
She reached into her pocket and pulled out two white pieces of paper. She handed one to Addison and one to me, our names scrawled on the front of each.
“Helen wrote these to the two of you a few weeks ago.”
“What?” Addison asked quickly.
Grams nodded and adjusted the sleeves of her top nervously. “I know, Addie Wren. Just…she had a feeling the past few weeks that she might be nearing the end of her life.” Her voice broke over her words, but she cleared her throat and trudged on. “And she wanted to make sure nothing was left unsaid, so she wrote it all down.”
