Addison made everything better, and as much as I wanted to be near her, I knew I needed to calm down first. I didn’t want to disturb her, and it was likely that crawling back into bed now would do just that.
Thoughts of the future, thoughts that had driven me downstairs, had been temporarily forgotten by Andrew’s email and our work situation, but staring out the window, they were back once again with a vengeance. Which was no surprise. Addison was never far from my mind.
A new year meant a new start, and I realized that I wanted all my new years to start with her. Giving her my last name was only the start. I wanted to give her anything and everything.
FORTY-ONE
HOLD MY HEART
Addison
I didn’t remember fallingasleep. Beckett and I got out of the shower and went straight to bed. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open after our earlier excitement.
But just before I’d drifted off, I’d felt Beckett’s tender touch against my forearm. A habit he’d picked up without me saying more than I already had. Every night we were together—which was becoming more and more often as the weeks passed—he rubbed my arm until we both finally fell asleep.
Nothing about that night was different, which was why when I woke up I was surprised to find the bed beside me empty. Searching for Beckett, my hand landed on cold air and sheets. I glanced around the room and blinked the sleep from my eyes as I peered out the window to my right and behind the bed. It was still pitch black.
I reached for my phone on the bedside table. It was a little past three in the morning, so by all accounts, Beckett should have still been asleep. I responded to Bri’s text wishing me a Happy New Year before I slipped out of bed.
I threw on the first thing I found—one of Beckett’s T-shirts—and opened the bedroom door, peering down the quiet, dark hallway. Nothing appeared out of place. I started down the hallway, intent on looking first in the room Beckett had pointed out was his when he was younger, when I stopped just at the top of the stairs.
Down on the first floor, I heard the quiet click of computer keys before I saw the faint light from the study near the front door. I padded down the stairs on nearly silent feet and peeked around the corner into the study. Shelves and shelves full of books lined the walls. Each one was thick and sturdy, made from a dark wood that appeared handcrafted.
There was a large, intricate rug in the center of the room, made mostly of red and cream thread, which complemented the dark wood desk that sat atop it. The desk Beckett sat behind.
He was facing the open double French doors, but he didn’t see me even as I stepped into view. All his attention was intent on his laptop in front of him. He had one hand on his wireless mouse while the other was propped beneath his chin. I took another step into the room without him noticing. There was a definitive crease between his brows, and I could see the tension across his bare chest and exposed shoulders.
By the time I was halfway across the rug and still hadn’t garnered his attention, I decided to clear my throat. Finally, his eyes shot up, and the moment he saw me, all the tension I’d noticed slipped from his body. An easy smile slid into place as he leaned back in the leather chair.
It made me feel good to know that I had such an effect on him. That just my presence seemed to make his stress disappear. He did the same for me. I always felt more at ease with him around.
“You’re supposed to be asleep, baby girl,” Beckett murmured in a deep voice as I rounded the desk.
He turned in his chair to face me, and I took amoment to take him in before I took another step. His tanned chest was broad, and I could see the defined muscles of his biceps and his tattoos as he planted his hands on each of the armrests of the wide chair. There was a decent amount of scruff along his jaw, but it was too dark in the study to see the dusting of gray among the mostly dark hair. But I knew it was there from memory alone.
I could also tell that his hair—which had grown quickly in the past few months and now touched the top of his shoulders—had still been wet when we’d laid down. It always dried wavier when he went to sleep with it wet.
Done with my perusal for the moment, I took two final steps and closed the distance between us, settling between his strong, spread legs. The soft fabric of his sweatpants brushed my bare skin.
“So are you, Daddy,” I whispered back, and Beckett licked his lips to try to contain his smile. He leaned forward and grasped my hips, letting his head rest between my breasts. My nails dragged through his hair, and I felt him sigh against me as I peered over at his computer screen. “You were working?”
He nodded and fell back into his chair. still letting one hand linger on my waist. “Yeah, some work stuff came up, and when I couldn’t sleep, I figured I’d get a jump on reviewing everything.”
“You couldn’t sleep?”
He shook his head and stared at the screen. “No, and I didn’t want to disturb you by tossing and turning.”
I could tell by the tightness in his jaw and the far-off look in his eyes that there was something more he wasn’t telling me.
“Was it because of anything we did?”
“No, no,” Beckett said quickly. He laced his fingers with mine and tugged me down to his lap, urging me to straddle his thighs, which I eagerly did. Both hands steadfast on my hips, I rested mine on his shoulders. The leather desk chair was large enoughthat I easily slid my legs on either side of his hips and settled on top of his lap.
“It was fucking perfect, Bubbles,” he continued. “Every second was better than I imagined. Better than Idreamed.”
“Good,” I agreed. That was exactly what I’d hoped for. Yes, it had been a spur-of-the-moment decision to do it that night, but I had been thinking about it for a while. Hell, when else would we have had the opportunity to be miles from anyone else who might be curious if they heard me scream? “Do you still want to talk about it? Or your work stuff? Would you rather I leave you alone?”
“Never.” There was no question in his voice, and to make his point even clearer, his hands tightened on my waist. “I like you close. Like I said, I just didn’t want to wake you.”
