Anastasia.
I’m hit with a flood of memories from my first semester, and now I’m anxious to see where she landed after my class. She didn’t finish my course—she dropped after Ryan helped me encourage her to switch her major to something she loved.
“Hello, everyone,” Anastasia says, drawing me away from my memories. “I’m so excited to be graduating today. This is the first day of the rest of our lives!”
Man, I wish Ryan were here with his bingo cards. That’s one of the phrases from last year.
“We’ve worked so hard,” she continues, “pushed through all the obstacles, and here we are.”
There’s another one: “pushed through all the obstacles.”
“Some of us are first generation college students. Others are following in the paths their parents forged. And some, like me, have a different story.
“My first semester here, I was in College Algebra, hoping I’d be a business major, just like my mom and dad. I started out with an incredible instructor, who tried her absolute best to help me out. I attended every one of her office hours, and she was so patient with me. But my heart wasn’t in it.”
Oh. That’s me.
Her speech is about ME.
“And during one particularly difficult session, I set down my pencil and started to cry. She asked me what was wrong, and I told her everything. That I hated math, and I hated business, and I didn’t want to do any of this anymore. She was so sweet, listening to all my concerns but not judging. The next time I came to see her, she had advice for me.” Anastasia pauses for dramatic effect. “She said, ‘Don’t do this anymore. Follow your own path.’”
Wow. She makes me sound really good. What she doesn’t know is what happened between those two meetings. The way I asked Ryan for his advice, and he helped me see her point of view. And how I readjusted my view of being forced into something you hate.
“So I did,” Anastasia says. “I dropped the class, changed my major, and told my parents I’d be studying fashion design. Instead of being disappointed, they werehappyfor me. Because they wanted me to be happy.”
A cheer comes from the audience, followed by, “WE LOVE YOU STASI!”
She grins and points at the audience. “Love you, too, Mama!” She looks down at her notes, then up at the audience. “My fellow graduates, all I can say is that I’ve never been happier following my own path. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned here at college, it’s not how to factor or solve a quadratic equation or graph a polynomial function—sorry, Professor Beaumont.”
My fellow professors all look over at me, and I feel my cheeks flush.
“But I’ve learned that making other people happy isn’t going to makeyouhappy. I will be eternally grateful for that lesson, and that’s what I want to share with you all today.” She raises her fists and finishes her speech. “Congratulations everyone! We did it!”
The audience explodes in cheers, and Janet pats me on the leg as I clap. The president returns to the stage to announce the names, and normally this is when I’d start chatting with the people next to me—with Ryan. But instead, I’m silent, because my mind is whirring.
I told Anastasia to follow her own path. But I said it because Ryan encouraged me to say it, and he was right. She’s happier for it, and her family is happier for it, too.
Now Ryan is gone.
And I’m following the path set for me by my parents.
I love teaching math, so I’m not upset about that. I’m grateful I chose to follow that path.
But do I love Zach?
Every beat of my heart pounds the word, “No, no, no.”
I can’t do this anymore.
CHAPTER 39
Claire
After graduation,I’m exhausted and my energy is spent, but I can’t sleep until I talk to Annie. I open the door after nine, and Annie is sketching on the couch, her iPad on her lap and digital pencil in her hand. She looks up when I walk into the living room and gives me a tentative, “Hey.”
I sit on the couch next to her and start with, “I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widen, and she locks the iPad, setting it aside. “For what?”
