“Teaching in Hawaii?” I lower my voice in case someone—like Liam—is lurking and eavesdropping. “Sounds incredible. But they weren’t hiring when I was looking.”
“They are now.”
Huh. Okay. That’s an interesting piece of information. Three years ago, I would’vekilledfor a spot at Haleakala CC. It was my dream. But, as expected, jobs in Hawaii are even harder to come by than in Southern California. And since they didn’t have an opening when Coastal Vista offered me a coveted position, of course I said yes.
Which is a decision I’ve never regretted because of Claire. Plus, I’m still close to the ocean. It’s not like I took a job in Kansas. Just the thought of living that far from the water makes me shudder.
Hawaii, though… Warm water year-round, perfect climate, easygoing vibe…
But no Claire.
And yet…is that the change I need?
Kai interprets my silence as pensive contemplation. “I’m gonna text you the link to the application. Think about it.”
“All right. I will.”
We chat for another few minutes. After we hang up, I click the link Kai sent. Sure enough, Haleakala Community College has an opening for a full-time math professor. I’m more than qualified, and I can reuse my letters of recommendation from three years ago. They’d understand why I can’t inform my current department that I’m contemplating a new position.
But my first instinct is to say no, I can’t leave. Because of Claire.
But Claire is moving on with her life, so why shouldn’t I? I can’t wait for something I’m not sure I’ll ever have.
I look over at the sticky notes in my drawer, then back at my phone. What harm is there in filling out an application? I’ll fill it out tonight. And as for the sticky notes…
I slide the crumpled note into the drawer with the other notes and close it shut. I’ll worry about that decision another day.
Two days later,I’m done with my work and heading out to my car when I hear Claire’s voice behind me.
“Ryan! Hey!” she shouts.
I’ve successfully avoided her so far this week, but I couldn’t have expected it to last forever. I turn and paste on a grin. “Hey, Claire.”
“I haven’t seen you all week!” She reaches me, puffing out her breaths. “We really need to get back to the tutoring center.”
“Yeah, sorry, this week has been crazy.” I’d put in the application for Haleakala Community College after talking to Kai on Tuesday evening, and I’ve become more settled in the possibility of leaving here…and Claire. Just a few more months here in SoCal, and even if the job in Maui doesn’t work out, maybe I’ll just quit and take some time off to figure out what else I could do.
So why bother spending all this time on the tutoring center if I’m just going to leave?
It’s not fair, because I truly do love my job and my students. And although Kai teases me about stuffy Orange County, I don’t mind it at all. But I don’t know how I’m going to move on from Claire if I keep seeing her every day.
“How are you?” Claire asks. The light from the setting sun catches her hair, making it redder than usual. Her gray-green eyes sparkle at me, and my breath catches in my throat. Does she look at Zach like this?
I swallow and shove my hands in my pockets. “Good, good. Gave my Calc class an exam this week, so I’ve been busy with grading and everything. Organizing my office. You know, the usual.”
“I did notice your desk looked cleaner than usual.” She smirks. “Must have taken you forever.”
I shrug. “It had to be done.”
She holds my gaze and grins. “So, should we meet next week for the tutoring center?”
“I dunno. I’ll get back to you on Monday.”
She presses her lips together, discomfort evident in her features. “Okay.” She lingers an extra moment. Why isn’t she leaving? She gives me a nervous glance. “So, what are you doing this weekend?”
“Going on a date tomorrow,” I say quickly. Chase set me up on another date, swearing this time he’d found the perfect girl for me. I didn’t miss his emphasis on the wordperfect, but I’m not sure what that meant.
Maybe I should’ve been more casual about the way I said it to Claire, but I’m tired of this dance between us. Besides, it’s better to rip off the Band-Aid than drag this out. She needs to get the point. Even if we “reconciled” last week, things are going to be different between us.
