“I mean, yeah, so far. But you never know.”
She tilts her head from side to side. “Yeah. I get that. I’m a little nervous, too.”
“You don’t need to be,” I say quickly. “You’re doing everything right.”Except for dating the wrong guy.
Her eyes soften as she holds my gaze, and I feel that same tension in my stomach. The one I always get when her gray-green eyes hold mine, and she looks at me like she appreciates me for who I am. That I’m valuable and important to her.
But that’s not allowed. Not anymore.
So I cut off the eye contact and turn back to my computer, then I continue to put my things away. “So, computers. We’ll work on that next.”
“Yeah. Guess so.” Is that a hint of disappointment in her voice? Never mind that.
I pack up in silence for a minute before Claire speaks up. “Any plans this weekend?”
“Uh…yeah, actually. I’m going on a date this Saturday.” The words taste bitter on their way out. How in the world am I telling the woman I’m in love with that I’m about to go out with someone else?
When I turn to face her, she seems shocked too. It’s almost like she’s consciously telling herselfnotto look shocked. She stares at me, not blinking for longer than what seems humanly possible. “A date,” she finally says. “With who?”
“Chase set me up with someone,” I reply.
“Oh.” Her face relaxes. “So just like a one-time thing.”
“I see what you’re getting at,” I tease at the implications of Chase’s reputation. “But…who knows? I’ve been single for a while now. It’s about time I meet someone.”
“Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Of course.” She nods a little too enthusiastically. Maybe to someone who doesn’t know her, this would seem like a normal reaction. But I know Claire. And she’s compensating for something.
Of course my treacherous heart wants to think she’s jealous. But that’s ridiculous. She’s engaged. Her feelings—jealousy, envy, attraction, love—should all be wrapped up in that man, no matter how much of an idiot he is.
“What about you?” I ask when the silence stretches on too long.
She forces a smile. “Yeah, I was going to say I’m going cake tasting with Zach and our moms tomorrow night.”
And there it is. The reminder that any dreams I had of being with Claire are shattered. I wanted to be the one going cake tasting with her. She’d want to try her favorite—white cake with strawberry, and I’d just get whatever she liked best.
But that’s not my place.
“Sounds fun,” I say. I wonder if I sound like her, masking disappointment. If I’ve always sounded like that, every time she told me Zach was taking her to dinner or a baseball game or the movies.
“Yep. Should be fun.” She looks at me for a moment and opens her mouth to say something, but instead she shuts it and waves. “All right. Have a good weekend!”
“You, too,” I say as she turns and rushes away.
I wonder what she wanted to say.
CHAPTER 11
Claire
A date.
Ryan. On a date.
I think what’s throwing me off, more than the fact that he’s going on a date, was my initial reaction to that news. When he told me yesterday, it was a combination of “What in the world?” and “NotmyRyan.”
My Ryan.
I tell myself I’m not thinking about it that way because I’m jealous. It’s justweird. We’ve been friends for almost three years now, and this whole time, he’s been single. I haven’t heard him mention a date once. It wasn’t really something we discussed, but with the amount of times I’ve complained about Zach, I didn’t think our romantic lives were off the table.
