“Because we were wrong for each other,” she says. “Because I don’t love him the way I should love my husband.” She takes two more steps until she’s just a foot away. “Because those feelings already belong to someone else.”
I swallow hard. “Who?”
She tilts her head. “You, Ryan. I love you.”
I let out a laugh and look up at the sky, then back at her. I feel tears forming in my eyes.
She continues. “I’m in love with you, Ryan, and I’m so sorry I didn’t see it sooner. You’re not just my best friend. You’re my other half, the missing variable in the equation of my life. I don’t want to spend another day without you.”
My heart is pounding, and I take a step toward her, closing the gap between us. I grin down at her. “I’m in love with you, too.”
“Yeah,” she says with a smirk. “I know.”
“I made it pretty clear, didn’t I?”
She nods. “And I’m so glad you did.”
I lift my hands and take hers, a thrill rushing through me. “So it’s okay if I do this?”
She looks down at our hands, then back up at me, and nods.
I run my right hand up her left arm, my fingers grazing her skin as I trace a line up to her shoulder. “And it’s okay if I do this?”
She shivers lightly and nods again.
I lift my hand, brushing the hair that frames her face and tucking it behind her ear. “And this is okay, too?”
She closes her eyes at my touch and nods again.
I lean toward her and whisper, “I’m going to kiss you now.”
“I was hoping you would,” she says.
So I do.
CHAPTER 42
Claire
When Ryan’slips touch mine for the first time, I worry for just an instant that it won’t be everything I hoped for. After all, I’ve never kissed anyone other than Zach. He was my first crush, first kiss, first boyfriend, first everything.
But my expectations are completely blown out of the water.
Thisis what kisses are supposed to be.
He starts slow and sweet, as if he’s just savoring the feel of my lips against his. This is what he’s been waiting for, and he’s taking his time. One hand stays in my hair, and the other lightly skims my waist and presses against my back, holding me to him. I’m secure in his arms, completely sure that he’ll never let me fall.
At the faculty gala, Ryan used his words to tell me exactly what he felt. I know conceptually that he loves me, but now I feel it. He’s writing the proof with his lips, moving them gently across mine, every caress another line of evidence to the conclusion that he wants me. Slow and careful, he doesn’t rush, but the way he holds and kisses me is more testimony that he cherishes me. That I’m valuable and precious to him. That he’ll never hurt me, and that I’m safe with him.
I just hope he can tell I feel that way about him, too.
Because our time apart and the way I missed him have solidified how incredible Ryan is. He’s kind, thoughtful, generous, and considerate. He’s charismatic and funny, but it’s not just for show. It’s his genuine light shining through.
And beneath the feelings of love for Ryan and his love for me, I feel an overwhelming sense of relief. My heart pounds as we kiss, saying,Finally. This is where you’re meant to be.
After kissingfor what feels like both way too long and not long enough, we head to the beach. I’ve never been to Hawaii before, and despite the fact that I’ve grown up in Southern California my whole life, this beach feels like it belongs on another planet. The sand has an orange tint and is softer, without rocks digging into my soles. And the water is pleasantly warm with gentle waves, unlike the freezing water that crashes on the shore back home.
“This is heaven,” I say, sitting in the sand next to Ryan, our hands interlocked. We’re both in our regular clothes, with him wearing his business slacks and button-down shirt from the interview, and me in my casual dress.
