Turning, he looked at her with a bleak expression. “I will never do that. I will not make a promise that I cannot or will not fulfill. And I tell you now, I am not the sort of man a boy should look to for guidance.”
“I’m sure there are those who would disagree with you.”
He gave a bitter laugh. “Not even my friends would tell you such a whopper.”
She watched him closely. “Perhaps your brother would disagree.”
His expression instantly shuttered. “My brother is dead.”
“Oh.” She was horrified to have been so forward. “I do beg your pardon.”
He lifted a shoulder. “You could not know.”
“You mentioned you have a sister.”
He looked at her, questioning.
“It was during our dance.”
“Oh, I had forgotten. Yes. My sister lives in Hertfordshire with my aunt and uncle,” he said absently before abruptly turning toward the window again. “You know my views on marriage.”
“Yes.” She studied his back and those impressively broad shoulders. They already carried burdens aplenty. He would surely be reluctant to take on hers as well. “It’s why I didn’t expect you this morning.”
His head turned. “A wise outlook. I wasn’t sure, myself, if I was coming. My friends have succumbed. One by one they have mated and married, and I, knowing their deepest secrets, aware of their backgrounds, have marveled at it. I don’t understand it. I don’t trust it. I’ve vowed it would not happen to me.”
She had not even realized how hard she’d been grasping that last hope until it slid from her gasp. “I understand.”
“No,Iunderstand, at last. I’ve been thinking all night. It was a foolish fancy—the idea of freedom that you and I discussed. My own thoughts were foolish as well. I thought I could escape the net, vowed to try. But there are considerable obstacles. My father’s constant carping, for one. It’s only grown worse since my brother’s death. His despair makes sense, for my cousin, next in line after me for the marquessate, is a damned bounder and estranged from the rest of the family. It is my duty, I suppose, to keep the title and estates and people free from his hands. And now my closest friends have begun to pressure me, as well. And Society as a whole, of course, has its own expectations. I can only anticipate such encouragements will increase, from all directions.”
He turned around, his face grave. “And now there is the fact that your cousin has put us—but mostly you—in a hell of a mess.”
Charlotte straightened. “You saw it, too? It was there, in her face, wasn’t it?”
“Oh, yes. She orchestrated it. It was clear. And we will deal with her in time. But for now, we must forge our way forward.”
She was unexpectedly warmed by his use ofwein that sentence.
“What happened was no fault of yours, my lord. I cannot expect—”
“Honesty, Miss Mayne. I kissed you.” He shook his head. “I should not have done it. If I hadn’t, I would have been across the lawn when those damned lights came back on, but there you were, wet and vulnerable, with your eyes shining like stars, and it felt like we were parting ways.”
“I rather think we were, were we not?”
“I made the mistake, and now we must both pay for it.”
“Since you asked for honesty, I must point out, I did kiss you back.”
Was heflushing? She stared, her hopes rising again, utterly unable to look away.
“In any case, here we are.”
“In a hell of a mess, as you said.”
“Yes.”
Suddenly, he pushed away from the window and paced to the desk, then to the door and back again. “The thing is, I find I like you, Miss Mayne.”
“I like you, as well,” she told him.
