He checks his phone. ‘I need to go. I’m going to be late for this meeting.’
There’s something else bothering him, but he won’t tell me. Maybe this is all too much for him. Finding out about the baby.The fake engagement. Having to give up his apartment and live in that house with me. His whole life is changing and it’s happening really fast.
‘Jason, I think I’m going to head back to Madison.’
He was halfway out the door but turns back. ‘When?’
‘Today. Tomorrow’s Wednesday and I have a lot to do before my parents get there on Friday.’
‘Is that the only reason, or is there something else?’
‘I think you need some time alone. Time to think, without me around.’
‘When are you coming back?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘What do you mean? You’re moving here. We’re living together.’
‘It doesn’t have to be right away. My parents fly home on Sunday. Once they’re back home, they won’t know where I’m living. I can tell them I’m here but still be in Madison.’
Jason comes back into the apartment and shuts the door. ‘What are you saying? That we’re not doing this? That we’re not living together?’
That’s not what I want, but I think Jason does. I think he regrets doing this. Actually, I know he does. It’s the reason he’s angry, the reason he hasn’t been talking to me.
I shrug. ‘We wouldn’t have to. Your family already knows the truth. There’s no reason to pretend we’re engaged when they know we’re not.’
‘The town knows. If they never see you, more rumors will start.’
‘You can tell them my morning sickness is really bad so I’m staying home. Like you said, after a few weeks they’llprobably get tired of talking about us and talk about something else.’
‘Mia.’ He sets his hand on my shoulder, which is the most he’s touched me since Sunday. ‘When I said all that stuff about the rumors, it didn’t mean I don’t want you here.’
‘I know, but maybe it’d be easier if I wasn’t.’
He sighs. ‘I’m sorry I’ve shut you out the past couple days. I’m still trying to go through all this in my head. And you’re right. I’m angry, about more than just the rumors. I’m angry about this whole situation.’
‘You mean the baby?’
‘I mean you living in Boston and me living here.’ He walks past me, rubbing his jaw. ‘I don’t want my kid living a thousand miles away. I don’t want him living in a big city, or in an apartment where he’s stuck inside all the time.’ Jason turns back to me. ‘I don’t have an answer here. I’m just saying, I don’t want that for my kid.’
‘It’s OUR kid,’ I say, getting angry. ‘And I don’t like that you’re implying I’m doing something wrong here. You knew I was moving back. And you know why I have to. If you really want to see our child, then move to Boston with me. I know you’ll miss your parents, but you can still come back and see them. And if anything happens to them, your brothers can help. My parents don’t have that. They only have me.’
He checks his phone. ‘Shit, I’m late. I have to get to work.’
‘I’ll pack up my things and clean up before I go. We can talk this weekend after my parents leave.’
He walks up to me. ‘What about graduation?’
‘You don’t have to go. I’ll tell my parents something came up and you had to work.’
‘Mia, I’m going to your graduation. It’s a big deal. I should be there.’
‘If you were my fiancé, then yes. But you’re not. Don’t worry about my parents. I’ll come up with something to explain why you’re not there. I need to go clean up. Have a good day.’ I race off, straight to the bathroom where I turn on the shower so he won’t hear me crying.
Why am I getting worked up about this? My relationship with Jason isn’t even real. But I wanted to see if it could be, which is why I wanted to live with him. I had this dream of us falling in love and Jason wanting to go with me to Boston at the end of the summer. We’d find a small house to buy in a suburb that was safe and clean and had good schools. Jason and I would find jobs and raise our child and maybe have a couple more.
That’s never going to happen. I knew it never would, but I was excited about spending the summer with him. Now I don’t think I will. I don’t want to be around Jason when he’s angry at me, or have him keep doing this back and forth thing where he’s nice to me one day and not talking to me the next.
