‘I don’t know. I need to go find out.’
Lyndsay comes up to me, smiling. ‘I heard the news. Congratulations!’
‘I should be saying that to you.’ I give her a hug, then motion to Nick. ‘Then again, you’re stuck with him for the rest of your life so maybe I shouldn’t congratulate you.’
She laughs and goes over to Nick. ‘I’m thrilled to be stuck with him.’
He kisses her and doesn’t stop.
‘Okay, well, I need to go. I’ll see you guys inside.’
I leave them in their wedded bliss and hurry to the barn, hoping Mia’s there. When I get inside, I look around but don’t see her.
Mom notices me searching for her and waves me over to the table where she’s sitting with Dad.
I go over there. ‘Did Mia leave?’
‘She’s in the house,’ Mom says. ‘She wasn’t feeling well so I had her lay down in the guest room.’
‘What’s wrong? Did she get sick again?’
‘I think she’s just worried she upset you. You need to talk to her.’
‘And when you do,’ Dad says, ‘don’t be getting ahead of yourself. You don’t need to have everything figured out today. There’s plenty of time for that later.’
He’s saying that because he knows I have a hard time living in the present. I’m always looking forward, worrying about the future. Like during the wedding, I kept imagining my child growing up without me, being raised by whoever Mia ends up with. It made me angry, and worried that I’d never see my kid. But my dad’s right. I shouldn’t be thinking that far ahead. I need to focus on what’s happening right now.
When I get to the house, I go to the guest room and knock on the door.
‘Mia?’
She doesn’t answer.
‘Mia, are you in there?’
‘Yes,’ she says in a happy tone that sounds fake. ‘I’ll be out in a minute.’
‘Are you feeling better?’
When she doesn’t respond, I open the door. She’s lying on the bed, curled up in a ball, crying.
‘Mia.’ I race up to her. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Everything.’
‘Mia, I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier. I just needed some time.’ I wipe the tears from her cheek. ‘I’m happy about being a dad.’
‘You are?’ she asks, sniffling.
‘Of course. You know how much I love kids. And now I’m getting my own.’
She sits up. ‘But this isn’t how you wanted it to happen. It’s not how I wanted it either.’
I sit beside her. ‘Sometimes life doesn’t work out that way. Nash and Callie weren’t planning on having kids for a few more years and now they have a daughter.’
‘But they’re married. That’s different.’
‘It still wasn’t what they planned. And because of the baby, they moved up their wedding. They weren’t supposed to get married for another year. The point is, plans change. And I admit, I’m not good with that. I tend to stress out when things don’t go the way I was hoping, but I’m going to work on that.’
