She turns and opens the door, then races off. I go out to the hall and see her running toward the elevator. I watch as she gets on, thinking she’ll look back at me, but she doesn’t.
She’s gone. Last night and this morning will soon just be a memory, a memory of a girl I’ll never forget.
Chapter 3
End of April
Mia
‘You still haven’t heard from him?’ Nora asks as she comes into my office. She caught me staring at my phone again, which I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve been doing ever since I asked Jason if we could have dinner.
‘Who?’ I ask, as if I have no idea who she’s talking about.
She sits on the small blue couch next to my desk, the one a student just left after crying her heart out over a guy who just dumped her. I remember when my problems were as simple as a guy breaking up with me. It felt horrible at the time, but now, having a much bigger, more serious issue to deal with, getting dumped seems like no big deal.
‘You know who,’ Nora says. ‘Why don’t you just call him again?’
‘And say what? I already asked him to dinner. I’m not going to ask him again.’
‘Tell him you need an answer so you can make plans about coming there. Friday is only a few days away. Tell him youneed to make a hotel reservation or there won’t be any rooms left.’
I shake my head. ‘It’s only been a day. I’ll give him another day. Then maybe I’ll text him, make sure he didn’t forget.’
‘He didn’t forget.’ She puts her arm up along the back of the couch. ‘He’s probably stalling because he’s trying to figure out what this is about. You haven’t talked to the guy in months and then you call him out of the blue and ask to have dinner with him? He’s going to wonder why.’ She pauses. ‘Maybe you should just tell him.’
‘Over the phone?’ I say, like she’s crazy for even suggesting it. ‘No. This is not something you tell someone over the phone.’
‘It is if you can’t talk to him in person.’
I get up from the desk and pace the floor. ‘Maybe I should just go there. I don’t know where he lives, but I’m sure I could find out. It’s a small town. And his family owns that orchard. He’s practically a celebrity there. I’m sure if I asked, someone could tell me where he lives.’
‘And you’re going to what? Show up at his door without any notice? I think that’s a bad idea.’
‘Then what am I going to do?’ I walk up to her, feeling more and more anxious as I think about this. ‘What if he doesn’t call me back? Or what if I call him again and he tells me he doesn’t want to see me? What if he says he has a girlfriend and he wouldn’t feel right having dinner with me because of her? What if he met the love of his life and he’s about to propose to her and then I show up and—’
‘Okay, calm down.’ Nora gets up and grabs hold of my arm. ‘Even if he’s with someone else, you have to tell him this. You know that, right?’
‘Of course. I wouldn’t keep this from him.’
‘So let’s think about this rationally. Your goal here is to tell him what happened and figure out a plan for what to do next.’
Nora’s a professor in the physics department. She approaches problems like a scientist would, with logic and reason. I’m the opposite. I’m very emotional, which is good when I’m counseling and need to feel empathy for my clients, but not so good when I’m trying to make decisions.
‘I know what the goal is, but that doesn’t solve the issue of him not calling me back.’
‘I’m just saying, there’s no reason to get your emotions involved here. If the guy’s with someone else, who cares? It’s not like you had feelings for him. It was one night. And you can tell him that. Say that you’re not looking to have any kind of relationship with him. You just need to figure out a plan going forward, given what happened.’
‘It’s not that simple,’ I say, sitting down on the couch.
‘Okay, yes, you two have a lot to discuss, but at least it’s not complicated by you having feelings for him.’
I look down, not wanting to admit that I actually do have feelings for Jason. Nora will tell me it’s not true, that there’s no way it could be, but she wasn’t there that night. She didn’t feel what I felt when Jason and I were together. She hasn’t spent the past four months thinking about him, wondering what could’ve been.
Nora sits beside me. ‘You don’t, right?’
‘Don’t what?’ I look at her.
‘Have feelings for him.’
