“You should see a woman who bargained away her child.”
Nolan frowns, and something like anger flashes in his eyes. “Look at me,” he says, at which point I realize I’m twiddling the ring on my finger. “Darling, look at me.”
My eyes obey.
“You are my wife. And I won’t tolerate anyone saying awful things about you. Not even you. Do you understand?”
“They might be awful, but that doesn’t make them any less true,” I say.
“Why must you always spin every scrap of evidence against anyone else in the most positive light, yet with anything thatcould possibly be used against you, you act as your own prosecutor? Darling, don’t you understand what you rescued me from?”
I blink at him through tears as he continues. “When the Sister whisked me away to her lair of shadows…” Nolan grits his teeth and glances to the floor of the crow’s nest as he rubs his forehead. “All I could think about was the warden. Of all the times he forced me…” Nolan closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath. “The Sister toyed with me first. I knew where it was headed, of course. And I just kept thinking, ‘It’s happening again. I told myself it would never happen again, and it’s happening again.’”
Sweat breaks out on my husband’s brow, and when I reach out to touch him, he flinches. Frustrated with himself, he looks at me with forlorn eyes. “When the Nomad summoned the Sister, it was just as she was…” He takes a steadying breath. “Just as she was undressing me. I… I started seeing black around my vision. I thought that was why she had disappeared, that my body was just panicking itself into blindness. But she was gone, and when she came back, she told me you’d made a bargain to get me back. I’m sorry, Darling. But I can’t sit here and listen to you berate yourself when you did nothing but agree to a childless life so that I could be free.”
Tears sting at my eyes, and as I stroke his face, he slowly softens under my touch.
“So please. You can tell me anything,” he says. “You can tell me your concerns, your worries, your fears. But please don’t call yourself awful. I can’t bear to hear it.”
I nod. “Okay.”
He smiles softly. “Okay.” Then he clears his throat and stands, gesturing to the ladder that leads down to the deck. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind, it’s my wedding day, and I would like to dance with my wife.”
When I reachthe bottom of the ladder, Charlie, Maddox, and Michael are there to greet me. The crew lets out a cacophony of whoops and hollers, at which point Nolan informs them that if he hears of anyone looking up my gown as I climbed the ladder, there will be one less eye on the ship.
The hollers dissipate after that.
Before Nolan reaches the bottom, Charlie whisks me aside and hands me a teacup brimming with a foul liquid.
“What is this? Some pirate wedding custom?” I ask, nose crinkling at the unpalatable substance.
“No, but it is an I-don’t-want-to-get-pregnant custom,” she says. “Had to pick it up from the market today. You wouldn’t believe the vendor. One of those herb lady sorts, kind of odd. Still, it will keep you from having to worry about having children. Apparently, this is the premier formula for preventing pregnancy.”
“Nolan told you, then?” I ask. “About the bargain?”
Charlie frowns at me. “I’m sorry, Winds. You never should have been put in the situation to make that decision.”
My stomach writhes, and I can’t quite bring myself to believe that.
“Thank you for this,” I say, lifting the chalice, then immediately wincing as I take a sip of what tastes like dishwater. “Actually, I retract my thanks.”
“Well, you’ll be retracting your retraction when tonight you can do as you will with your husband without concern. Just make sure you take it every night.” When she glimpses the anxiety on my face, she says, “Don’t worry, I bought up the herb lady’s entire stock.”
I let out a sigh of relief, hug Charlie, then choke down the rest of the potion.
By the time Nolan comes to get me for the dance, Charlie is already shoving me in his direction.
“And now we present to you,” she yells over the crowd, “the captain and his pirate queen!”
The crowd erupts into cheers, at which point Nolan shoots Charlie an acidic glare. “We’re privateers,” he says, all scolding.
“Sure we are,” Charlie says with a wink.
I let out a laugh, and my husband, still rolling his eyes, whisks me out to the dance floor so quickly, I gasp.
He chuckles at my surprise, but the melody of the strings is captivating, so the captain and I dance, and the stars watch, and all is right in the world.
CHAPTER 5
