“Well, theyarepretty handy to have around when you’ve got a fully stocked bank account backing them up.”
She chuckled softly. Was that the first time I’d heard her laugh? It was a good sound, not unlike the way my dad used to laugh at my attempts to defuse tense situations with humor when I was a kid. “Yes, checkbooks can be handy, but I haven’t used mine very well over the years.”
“That can’t be true. Dad used to tell me about the orphanages you and Grandpa supported. That sounds like a pretty good use of your money to me.”
She removed her hand from my back and placed it on her knee. I instantly missed her gentle touch. “Like most people, I haven’t been all bad, but I haven’t been all good either. Sure, your grandfather and I dabbled in philanthropy, but when it came to matters closer to home, I was no saint.”
I watched as she shook her head, regret creasing her features.
“I’ve always used my money to get what I want. Last night opened my eyes to it more than ever before, Willow.”
I offered a weak smile, trying to chase away the sadness on her face. “Isn’t that what money’s for?”
“Things, dear. Money is to purchase things. It should never be used to manipulate people. And that’s what I’ve done.”
“You never manipulated me.”
“Didn’t I? I put so much pressure on you to meet with my approval that you created an entire fictional life just to earn my favor.”
What was happening? First, Cash tried to take the blame for my mistakes and now Grandmother? I couldn’t let them do it. “No way.” I shook my head. “That’s on me, Grandmother.” If I was going to live a life devoted to the truth, I couldn’t take the easy way out that she was offering me. “It was my choice, and a bad one at that.”
“But it was a lifetime ofmychoices that brought you to the place where you felt you had to make that decision. That’s where my guilt lies. If my children made choices I didn’t approve of, I’d threaten to cut them out of the will. If grandchildren chose a path I didn’t like, I’d offer them no help. I even tried to pay to get my way at the competition last night when that young woman was about to take the food truck away from Cash.”
“Which was very sweet of you, by the way.”
“Maybe the gesture was nice, but the place it came from wasn’t. I expected the rules of an established competition to bend to my will at a few strokes of my pen. Then I was indignant when she wouldn’t take my money. Last night was not my best moment.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Trust me, after the disaster I caused, nobody noticed anything you might have done.”
“I noticed.” She reached over and latched onto my hand with a grip strong enough to crush an unopened can of soda, but I didn’t care. I gripped her hand right back, realizing for the first time just how much a girl needed her grandmother in her life. A fresh wave of tears pricked my eyes when she placed her free hand on top of mine and patted my knuckles. “To know that you thought I would shut you out of the family—out of my life—because of a mistake was enough to break down my very last wall, Willow.”
The strained tone of her voice put a knot in my own throat. Was she really saying what I thought she was? She wasn’t done with me? I still had a shot at having her in my life?
“The reasons I haven’t let many people into my heart are too many to name, but none of them are good enough to justify the way I’ve treated the people I love. The way I’ve treated you, Willow. I do”—she paused for a moment and looked directly at me—“I do love you.”
I sniffed. A wild torrent of emotion broke loose inside me, making it hard to string my words together. All I managed to say was one simple question. “Can I hug you?”
Grandmother answered by leaning over and wrapping her arm around my shoulders. I leaned into her. It was awkward at first as we tried to figure out where to put our heads, but a moment later we relaxed into it.
More than twenty years of separation melted away as we held on to each other.
I had no idea how long we sat there, but when I scooched closer to her, our hug was interrupted by a clanging metallic sound from the futon. Grandmother squealed and jumped up, rubbing her behind. “I don’t think your couch-thingy likes me very much.”
“It’s okay,” I said, smiling through my tears of joy, “I don’t like it very much either.” We both laughed through our tears.
“Why don’t we take a drive,” she said. “I could use some fresh airanda plush seat.”
“Same.” I glanced around the room. Cash’s slides were still next to my front door, and Moose’s dirty rope toy lay in the middle of the floor where he’d left it yesterday morning. “This apartment doesn’t feel right anymore.”
Grandmother put her hand on my back, guiding me to the door. “Tell me about it.”
“Everything is just… empty without them.” I closed the door behind us, but the emptiness I felt inside followed us out. And there would be no escaping it unless I could convince Cash to give me another chance.
“What do you mean without them?”
“Cash hasn’t talked to me about what happened last night, Moose is gone, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get either of them back.” My voice cracked before I finished talking. I was grateful for the rowdy kids riding their bikes in the parking lot. Any distraction from the tears trying to overflow my eyes was a welcome one.
“First things first,” she said, opening her car door, “where is Moose?”
