I did a double take when my gaze landed on the man with hairy shoulders standing on the other side of me. He was on his third watermelon quarter. Crushed melon flesh was flying left and right. It was no wonder he’d chosen not to wear a shirt beneath his overalls. It would’ve been wrecked fifteen seconds into this contest.
I couldn’t imagine a pack of ravenous hogs making much more of a mess than he was. Juice poured from his face when he lifted his head to spit. Pink chunks flew through the air almost in slow motion as his seed rocketed out of his mouth.
My hero!
I shivered at the sight of the man’s beard. He’d be picking watermelon from his whiskers until Christmas. I inched closer to Cash—a much cleaner man and a veritable seed spitting machine. At least he didn’t have a beard that was hoarding snacks away for later.
“Time!”
The timekeeper’s voice crackled over the speakers and my hairy neighbor threw his fists into the air, convinced of his victory. If I’d thought his belly was hairy, that was nothing compared to those moist pits.
I backed into Cash in my effort to put as much distance between me and the Sasquatch as possible while the judges did their thing with the tape measures. I pressed into him as my neighbor continued gnawing on his rind and slurping the pink juice pooling inside it.
Cash leaned down and spoke close to my ear. “I know I’m irresistible, but you’re making me blush.”
I elbowed him. “Ha! It would take more than this to make you blush.”
“So, you’re not denying that I’m irresistible?”
His hot breath tickled me from the nape of my neck all the way to the pit of my stomach. “I didn’t say that.”
He splayed his hand on my back, and I prayed that he didn’t feel the shiver his touch sent through me.
“I know,” he said. “You didn’t say that I’m not irresistible.”
There was no arguing with him when he was bent on twisting my words into a compliment meant for him. He was kind of cute when he was impossible, though. But I’d pawn my Yamaha twelve-string before admitting that to him. “Oh, never mind. The judges are done.” Fortunately for me, my back was to him, and he couldn’t see the smile fighting its way onto my lips.
The tape measures the judges held clattered as they retracted. My stomach dropped when they headed straight for us with a blue ribbon. Cash stood a little taller. It looked like he’d have a win to hold over my head for the rest of the summer.
At the last second, I realized the tape measure wielding experts weren’t looking at Cash and me at all. They were making a beeline for my fine, furry, overall-wearing friend… who still had watermelon bits stuck to his face.
“Ha!” I shouted but immediately corrected my celebration at Cash’s loss and offered my congratulations to the winner.
“Thanks,” he said. “But I don’t care about kudos or nothin’. I’m just here for the free watermelon.” He plucked a chunk of melon from his beard and munched on it as he walked away.
“Did he win anything besides that ribbon?”
Cash laughed. “Bragging rights, and a watermelon.”
“That’s it?” I turned to face him as the crowd began to wander off.
“Yep, but that’s not nearly as interesting as what I won.”
I crossed my arms and cocked a hip. “Youdidn’t win anything, sir.”
Cash threw his head back and tossed out a single peal of laughter, clearly mocking the way I’d laughed when the Wookie beside me had been declared the winner.
Well, he could laugh all he wanted. But he’d lost the competition fair and square. Tape measures didn’t lie.
“I won the most important match up of the whole deal. But try not to feel too bad.” He took a step toward me. I took a step back. “You did pretty good for a first timer.”
I snorted. “Umm, no I didn’t.”
“No, you really didn’t, did you.” He burst out laughing. “I mean, you spit on your own shirt. What even was that?”
“All right, all right.” I couldn’t help but laugh right along with him. “Well, don’t get too big for your britches. We both lost today. Neither of us is going to get what we wanted.”
“Oh, really? And what exactly did I want?” He moved in on me again, this time close enough for me to smell the sweet scent of his aftershave… or was I smelling essence of watermelon? I took a baby step back.
