Both of our heads snapped toward the living room where Grandmother sat, poised to poison herself with the food I’d just given her.
“Oh, no!” we said in unison, lunging for the door.
CHAPTERSIX
Cash and I stumbled through the door, ricocheting off each other and the doorway in our hurry to slap those rancid oysters out of Grandmother’s hot little hands.
Could people die from eating bad oysters? I had no idea, but I wasn’t taking any chances. Oh, how I wished I’d paid better attention in whatever class in school that was supposed to teach me about hownotto kill people with hors d’oeuvres.
Cash’s moose of a dog bounded after us, barking at all the sudden excitement. I shut him out of my mind. Keeping Grandmother from eating those oysters was the only thing that mattered.
I waved my arms like a panicked orchestra conductor as I crossed the room in just a few strides. “Don’t eat the—”
It was too late. There was nothing left on the plate but a couple wilted lettuce leaves and empty oyster shells.
Cash knelt by Grandmother’s side and took one of her hands. “Now, don’t panic, Granny.”
“Granny?” I winced at Grandmother’stone. There was no way she would ever be okay with being called a bumpkin nickname like that.
Cash patted her hand and gently shushed her.
Wow!There wasn’t a living soul who had ever gotten away with telling Eleanor Lennox to quiet down.
Of all the things I had expected to happen that day, witnessing a murder hadn’t been one of them. I held my breath, waiting for my poisoned grandmother to land the fatal blow on Cash’s noggin.
“Just take it easy, ma’am. We’re going to take real good care of you,” he said.
“What on Earth are you talking about?” she demanded.
Moose shoved past me and rushed over to where Grandmother had set her purse on the floor beside her feet. He rammed his nose into the unzipped main pocket. “Shoo, shoo,” she said, trying in vain to get the dog to back off.
“Willow, go start your car and put the air on full blast,” Cash said. “She’s not going to be able to handle the heat.” I managed a small nod, but my feet were rooted to the ground. I was still waiting for Grandmother to clock him for telling her to be quiet.
“I have no idea what you’re going on about, young man, but I’m not going anywhere.” She tried to pull her hand away from Cash while pushing the dog back with the side of her leg, but she was unsuccessful on both counts. Cash rose from his knees and looped his arm through hers, helping her to her feet.
I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, but she didn’t even fight him. “Is she delirious already?” I asked. That was the only reason I could come up with as to why Cash was still in possession of all his teeth.
Sure, belting someone wasn’t exactly dignified, but people didn’t just push royalty around and get away with it. Back in the day, people lost heads over stuff like that. So, it only made sense to assume that Cash was due to lose a tooth or two at the very least after daring to tell country club royalty like my grandmother what to do.
“Just come right this way, ma’am,” he said, taking a step toward the door with his thick arm wrapped around Grandmother’s slender frame.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she said, stamping her foot and getting it tangled in the shoulder strap of her purse.
“Like I tried to say before, don’t panic, but you’re about to come down with a nasty case of food poisoning. We’re taking you to the emergency room.”
“Food poisoning?” Grandmother’s voice raised both in timber and in volume. “No, that’s impossible. I’m not going to any emergency room.” She used her foot to try to bring her purse within reach of her free hand, but Moose knocked it away with his massive snout.
Tears formed in my eyes. All this chaos was my fault. Sure, Grandmother was usually as sour as a seventy-year-old pickled lemon, but that didn’t mean I wanted to oyster slime her into oblivion. “Is she going to be okay?” I sniffed.
“I’m fine,” she insisted, slowly walking toward the front door with her feet getting more entangled in that purse strap with each step she took.
“Of course, you are,” Cash said in a comforting tone. “And by the way, if you feel the urge to upchuck, don’t fight it!”
Grandmother’s mouth fell open. “I beg your pardon?”
I finally convinced my feet to move, and I hurried to her side. “It was the oysters, Grandmother. We just found out they’re bad. We’ve got to get your stomach pumped before you… before you…”
“Nothing bad is going to happen,” Cash said. “Everything’s under control. Let’s just stay calm and get on the road.”
