“I’m not sure how to explain it, but when you tell me these things, they don’t feel like they could possibly be my life. It’s like you are telling stories about someone else’s.”
“That must be really scary,” Sera says.
“Sera . . . you’ve been with me, what, most of my life?”
“Just about,” she agrees. “I became your lady’s maid when you were sixteen. Before that, I helped in the kitchens.”
“Is this the first time I’ve lost my memory?” I’m almost afraid to ask, but I have to know. Kian said as much, but I need to hear it from someone else.
Sera’s eyes drop to the floor. “I—” She winces. “I can’t say.”
I frown. “I don’t understand.”
Sera looks at me, her violet eyes pleading. “Ican’tsay.”
“What do you mean?”
She shakes her head. She’s hiding something from me, but for some reason, she can’t tell me.
“I don’t understand,” I reply, tears welling up in my eyes. The feelings of betrayal and the loss of who I was—who I am—areso incredibly strong. Something was stolen from me, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back.
“I’m so sorry, Raelyn. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, it’s okay. I asked . . . I just can’t help but wonder how many times. How many times has someone messed with my memories? How many things have been stolen from me?”
Sera frowns. “I wish I could tell you . . . You were quite sick as a child though. I would overhear the cook talking about it.”
My heart is crushed in my chest. So much of my life is a blur, and now I wonder if something worse might be wrong with me because I don’t remember feeling this way before . . . but then how would I even know if my memories had been stolen?
“Hells, Sera. I don’t know what to do,” I cry. “How do I get my life back?”
Sera gives me a sad smile. “I’d give anything to have an answer for you, but perhaps you should try to rest. Maybe things will come back to you slowly.”
I slide down into the bed, curling my legs up into a ball. Sera comes and gently strokes my hair.
“I’ll be here if you need anything.”
Sleep comes hard and fast, and I’m alone with only my nightmares to haunt me.
Chapter Forty-Three
KIAN
Sera slips out of my room, and I look to her anxiously.
“Does she remember anything?”
She shakes her head. “It’s as if the last few months have been completely erased.”
No.I’d hoped it was temporary confusion and she would remember more.
“How many times has this happened to her?” I grit out, my hands squeezing into fists at my side.
Sera won’t meet my gaze, her eyes glued to the floor.
“Sera,” I growl. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Her violet eyes finally meet mine, and she shakes her head, a hand going to her throat. “I can’t say . . .”
