Not when she had a choice.
Even if it killed her, she would be worthy of him—worthy of the love he offered at every turn, that she might give it back tenfold—and to do that…
‘Is the light filled with love, or spiteful and mean?’
It crashed like a wave. Brutal, unforgiving in its heartbreak, stunning clarity in its wake.
To do that, Lunara first had to love herself.
She was the monster. The monster was her. She’d created this broken, horrific thing, and she was the only one who could fix it.
It was time to embrace the truth. It was time to embraceherself.
“Join with me.” Its milky stare was crazed as it released her and offered a hand. “Give me control. Together, we’ll wreak glorious havoc on our enemies. Together, we’ll be unstoppable.
Lunara pushed to kneeling, peering up into a ravaged face so like her own. She hadn’t noticed before how childlike it seemed. How fragile it really was. Hadn’t heard the pleading notes. The absolute suffering in its tone.
A thought from before, so different now…
“There is untold power in that first, glimmering shard of regret.” Her voice was soft as she stood. Soothing. “Such mighty strength in that first step towards changing your heart for the better.”
It bent and roared into her face, spittle flying. “Stem this weakness, you arse-brained bitch. It will not help him.” Shrieking, it backhanded her with enough force that her feet left the ground.
She landed with a thud, immediately pushing herself upright with trembling arms. “You deserved so much more than the poison I fed you.” She planted her feet, already braced for the next attack.
Lunara wasn’t scared. Not anymore.
It flew towards her, serrated claws slicing across her body. Blood poured from the wounds, but Lunara refused to back down.
“You are not a bane.” Its other hand slashed down her face. “You are not a curse.” It shoved her to the ground and straddled her, wrapping its long fingers around her throat. “You are not a ninny, or a halfwit, or an eejit. You are not a fool. You are not mad. Not crazed. Not ridiculous.” It squeezed, choking her. “You are not a monster,” she wheezed, black spots dancing in her vision. “You… are not… alone.”
The creature reared back and leapt away, malformed muscles straining as it bellowed to the sky.
Lunara didn’t pay her injuries any heed—just blinked back the haze of blood loss and regained her feet.
“What are you doing?” it hissed, panting as Lunara inched closer.
She was moving on instinct. Doing something she should’ve done a long time ago.
Reaching out, Lunara grasped the creature by the face. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, smoothing a greasy lock of hair. It wailed at the contact, trying to jerk away, but Lunara held fast. “I’m so sorry.”
Its features were a mask of confusion, chest heaving as Lunara stepped even closer. “Don’t do this,” it rasped. “Don’t?—”
Lunara pulled it close and—for maybe the first time in her life—wrappedherselfin loving arms.
“Please forgive me.” Tears flowed unchecked as she tightened her embrace. “I would have us whole again, dear one.”
The creature tensed in her hold. “What is this?”
“You are strong.” She spoke over its growls and the snapping of its teeth. “You are lovely.” Over its gasps and whines as it weakly thrashed, uncertainty in the splintered sound. “You are worthy.”
Silence. Such deafening, wondroussilencein her mind.
So slowly it might have taken hours, crooked, emaciated arms lifted around her with a whimper.
The smile starting to spread across Lunara’s face was wiped away by the searing agony that engulfed her body, her mind ceasing to function.
Gathered over decades and bottled in this nightmarish place, it was her own pain that battered relentlessly against them. Worse than any healing she’d done before, than any physical wound she’d experienced.
