Brand tightened his grip and shook her. Not enough to hurt—just enough to bring her back to reality. “Answer me, Lunara!”
“Of course you do!” she cried. “You deserve everything lovely and blessed in this world. Everything that is good!” She wrenched herself from his grasp and shoved him back, shocked she was strong enough. “But I am none of those, Brand. I am poison and death. Athingto be paraded through Nachthelliae amidst cheers and banners, and they will welcome me with open arms.Me! A fucking bane!”Her voice had pitched higher and higher until she was screaming, pouring every ounce of her anguish out into the world.
“I am… I am thethingthat destroyed a city and murdered hundreds. That has to be put down like a rabid animal.” She collapsed to her knees. “I am the samethingthat slaughtered my parents.”
She caved in on herself, the admission too much.
Too much. Too much.
She’d spent fifty-two years running from that night, from the Elder Council and whatever latest monster they’d found for the end of their leash, and it had been her all along.
Fucking stars, she’d been the villain all along, and she hadn’t even realized it.
One word, nonchalantly uttered by an irreverent Wolflord, and her life was over. One word that meant nothing to him, andeverythingto her.
Misted.
How could she have misted through the ether without knowing?
Three fucking times.
“I am Illamiata’s Keeper,” she whispered through her tears, spitting the last word as a new emptiness opened up inside, gnawing and gnashing as she tipped sideways and crumpled to the ground.
Shite. Even the cold, unwelcoming floor of this terrace might be too good for the likes of you.
She vaguely noticed Brand moving in her peripheral vision. Barely acknowledged it when his own knees hit the stone in front of her except to try and find the strength to fight him when he gathered her up against his chest and gently rocked her back and forth, but couldn’t seem to manage it.
The world tilted and swayed around her with his movement, and she imagined this was what it was like to be lost at sea.
She started to protest when he stood, lifting her with him, but he cut her off.
“No speaking. Please, just… not yet.”
Fine with her. It didn’t matter what he had to say anyway—she was merely biding her time. There were no words in all of Bordoroth that would convince her to stay here and put him in danger.
She had to disappear. Utterly, completely disappear.
Brand carriedher back through the chamber to the washroom. Warm light flooded the space as they entered, but it did nothing to thaw the ice pumping in Lunara’s veins.
He set her on the long counter between the basins at either end. Her heart clenched when he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against her brow before moving to a drawer in the vanity and withdrawing a cloth. Steam rose and warm water flowed over his hands as he wet it, wringing out the excess and turning to her once more.
Apparently, bath time when you lose control has become a thing…
Wedging himself between her knees, he gripped her nape, tilting her face higher. With gentle strokes, he mopped the evidence of her despair away. Smoothing her brow, swiping her cheeks. She didn’t miss that he lingered on her lips, stroking the wet fabric back and forth before moving to her chin, her neck.
The only thing it accomplished was to make her love him more, which?—
Shitting stars.
Sheloved him.
Soul-crushing, life-ending kind of loved him. The kind where she’d rather burn their future down and break both of them if it meant he was still alive in the world, making it more beautiful just bybeing.
Piss-poor time to realize it.
When he finished, Brand tossed the cloth into one of the sinks and knelt down, his face only slightly lower than hers. He stroked the column of her throat with his thumb, using his otherhand to tame a rogue tendril of her hair as he stared at her. But then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her jaw, her nose, each eyelid… and she broke.
Tears welled along with her shame. “I don’t deserve this.” Her throat was raw, voice ragged. “I’m not worth your kindness.”
