As I am replaying every scenario that went wrong inside my mind, a head starts to block the scenery above.
“Hello…” I roll over on my side and force myself up. I dust off the ash from my suit and slowly start to press the button to disengage the incombustible suit.
“Well, at least you’re smart enough to activate the suit, the others…” her lengthy finger gestures over to the ash-filled piles, “were not as swift as you were. I believe it was a painless death.”
“I suppose that makes everything better.” I roll my eyes.
“You know what I am going to say, don't you, Serene?” She glares at me with her pitch-dark emerald eyes and her thick eyebrows sunken down with disappointment. Her long,icy white hair is curled outward from her pointed jaw with her multicolored stone crown perfectly twisted around her head. The language of the flames, bold against her skin. I wonder if she now has more.
“I know, I know,I know. You let your fears override you, and you didn’t become one with the Fireninze.” I’m sure Koen enjoyed watching this. My eyes glance up towards where he was sitting, but he is gone. “The brothers told me this would happen if I didn’t tune out the noise of my mind and listen to the beat of the horse's heart.”
“They were right.” Her arms cross. “Koen left. As soon as you failed.”
The word “failed”makes my throat tighten, my jaw clenching with the agony of those watching me.
“I wasn’t looking for him.” I glance away, watching the people in the crowd still cheer with their beverages. “Does this mean I am out of the games?”
I start to walk away from her, ignoring the bystander guards who stare at us, still dusting off my suit to head back to the entrance.
But I don’t want to run into him. I cannot see him.
I cannot see them both.
I wish he wouldn’t write me letters.
This was how we would keep our love a secret centuries ago. He must leave the past in the past.
“No. But how do you expect the Realms to follow you if you cannot show them the truth of what is inside of you?” I can hear her footsteps following behind me, her heels clicking against the rocks beneath us. Her voice snaps at me, sending my teeth to grind together. I know she is about to lecture me, and honestly, I don’t want to hear it right now.
I am just a Deskyiara, the last bloodline of the true Descendants of the Gods. But I fear, if my father were here, he’d look down on me just as Queen Antivianna is.
Maybe Florian was right. I need them to help me through this. Even if everything inside me screams I can do it alone.
“I will get there. I will.” I stop, turning my head back to her, arching my back straight. “I have to.”
“What I saw out there was weakness. A true Queen never shows weakness.” She walks past me with her hands clasped together in front of her golden gown. The dragon-like wings branch out from her back as she walks past me. Golden shimmers and white sparkles reflect off her jewels that swivel down the spine of her ball gown. A Royal, with no specks of dirt along her olive skin.
I wonder how she would like being thrown in the games.
“I think you are wrong.” My chin tilts high. “Showing weakness might be exactly what the people of our Realms need. Why should they bow to a Queen when that Queen shows no empathy to their people? Why bow to a Queen who will throw anyone in the battle games if she is displeased?”
Her brows raise, her soft expression shifting to a disbelief. “I must say, that mouth of yours will have you killed one day.”
I shrug. “I think it might be the only thing that is saving me. Well, besides the burning of people. Yet I am not allowed to use it to survive here.”
Our eyes lock in an unspoken challenge before she clears her throat and turns.
“I wish the oracles could see your future. It would help the Realms to know if you are truly what the Gods intended you to be. Unsure how the God of Fire would choose,” her eyes grace up and down my body, “a woman who cannot even ride.”
My throat tightens. “I suppose only time will tell.” My bottom lip trembles as I take a deep inhale. “Let me try again, right now.”
She sighs, rolling her eyes away from me with frustration. “That isn’t how the games work.”
“Neither is having a woman compete in them. Yet, here we are.”
Chapter 38
“100 competitors for the 100 days of the war.” - Book of Azure
