I must turn this weak feeling of self-pettiness into a storm. I have stayed strong this whole time, and I will not let one man dictate when I will break.
He will not break me. No matter how much this hurts.
He hid this from me. This whole time, he couldn’t leave me because he was sworn to kill me.
My eyes shut, exhaling a deep breath to regain my strength, and I reopen my eyes. Maybe the Gods cursed me with the ability to burn to protect me from the man Koen is.
He will not take my life.
No one will.
I’m going to survive. It’ll be either his life or mine, and I won’t go down without a fight.
Chapter 28
“The horses of the Gods will forever be more powerful than any hunter. Any dragon. Any Royal.” - Book of Azure
MY EYES LOCK ONTO HIM, and I watch Koen practice with his dagger against the wooden board. He throws it precisely with speed and determination to hit the dead center of the red circle.
With each piercing hit of the dagger meeting the wood, he turns to glance my way, as if he senses my violent, lingering glare.
“What am I trying to bond with?” I glance over to Florian.
“Either the horse offire, ofwater, ofice, or ofair.” He slams his palms against the log, pushing himself up, and my eyes follow his movements. “We have yet to capture the one ofdarkness. I doubt we ever will.”
My hand flies up to my mouth, trying to hide the insane laugh that wants to bellow out from the pits of my stomach. “Youexpect me,” I throw my hands to my chest, “to bond with one of your horses? Florian, this is insane!”
“It's the only way through the games.”
“How can I bond with it when I am not from here! It will know it.Sense it.It will feel it.”
“You just wait, this will prove to everyone that you are a Deskyiara.” His lips form an amused grin. “I wish your mind and heart would connect, to remember it all. Maybe that would help the rest of us remember what truly happened.”
“If you could somehow make me remember…” Then it hits me like a force.
The stones.
My eyes gesture for him to sit, patting the log next to me, noticing Koen’s glances but I tune it out. I will not glance his way anymore.
“The stones in the Queen’s personal archives. I need to get to them again.” My voice drops so no one can hear. “I also need the book… of…” I try to recall the book's name. “I believe it’s the book that fell from the sky the day of the battle.”
“The book of Azure, known as Swithein. The Realms believe it was from the God of Fire.” He takes a seat without blinking, resting his elbows against his legs. “Why?”
“I believe the stones are memories,” I whisper. “I think they might bemy memories. I saw you, Koen, we were in a field with…”
“Dragonflies.” He takes the word right from me.
I nod, very slowly. “Yes. Do you remember this?”
“It's as if it's a hazy dream.” He rubs his hands over his face. “But at night, sometimes these dreams that come to me, feel like memories. As if my brain is trying to remember everything. I wonder sometimes if the Gods took the good memories away from us…as a punishment.”
“I think the stones can give us them back.” My eyes flicker between his. “Can you help me get back to them?”
He scratches the back of his neck and lets out a shaky breath. “I’ll do my best to try. I’ll have Ivker scope out the castle before we go in.”
“Who is Ivker?” I lean towards him. “Can we trust him?”
He nods to the men who fight, Octavian resting against the wall with his knee bent while the other two men slash blades. “The man whose arm is now forged by something made from the Darklands. That’s Ivker.”
