She looks skeptical. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, look how beautiful it is outside.” I motion to the golden Wyoming skies.
The smile that spreads across her face is contagious. My cheeks crack as I smile back, the sunburn worse than I realized. Her finger tips reach out to feel the hot skin on my face.
“Addie.”
“I know. I know.” Riley is always on me about sunscreen. It’s as annoying as it is helpful.
She shrugs. “Hopefully it turns to a tan and brings out your freckles.”
Riley loves to tell me I should let my freckles show. I don’t typically wear much makeup, but I do always wear tinted sunscreen that covers my freckles in a sheen of beige. I don’t know why she thinks they’re an asset. Like my mom always told me, they look like dirt splatter I forgot to wash off.
Silently, we get dressed. Riley is wearing a frilly yellow dress that, on anyone else, would look ridiculous. On her, it looks effortless. She jumps as she squeezes her legs into her extra tall cowboy boots.
I think about wearing mine too, but I reach for my vans instead. They’re much more comfortable anyways. My jeans are snug at my thighs, then taper down into a slight flare, and my tank top just barely grazes the top of the waist line. I stare at myself in the reflection of the screen as I braid my hair into it’s usual position.
Riley sneaks up behind me and puts a cowboy hat on my head. The girl looking back at me looks cute—sure of herself—so I keep the hat on. Being a temporary vagabond has its positives. I decide to let myself cosplay a free spirited country girl for one more night. Changing my mind, I commit to the bit by pulling on those pink boots, and my mind drifts to Reid for just a second before I turn my attention back to Riley.
We walk the streets of downtown Jackson, taking in the watercolor sunset. Everything is painted in a light shimmer of gold and pink, a film photograph brought to life. The rustic wood and weather-worn paint looks charming now instead of dilapidated.
In this light, the mountain in the distance looks more inviting than daunting. I stand there in the middle of the sidewalk, letting the last remnants of sun warm my face. I’m imploring my subconscious to remember this feeling instead of the feeling of failure.
Riley skips down the street, and I join her despite myself. Welive our best tourist life exploring the various shops and knickknacks until the sky turns dark. There’s a thickness in the air still that doesn’t seem like it’s going away anytime soon.
I text Reid before I can talk myself out of it. ‘You should sleep in Willa tonight. It’s hot.’
Before I can see those three little bubbles pop up, I shove my phone into my pocket. Then, I turn to Riley and say, “Let’s go do one dance before we head home.”
We order Shirley temples and I feel a little like a kid, in a good way. Proudly, I present my perfectly tied cherry stem to the bartender who doubted me. Country line dances pull us in until we realize the time and for once, Riley shoves me out of the bar.
“Time for bed, little shredder.”
I’m not sure where she learned that term but I listen. I let myself relax as she drags me down the street.
12
It’s competition day. My body remembers before I do. I feel well and truly awful. The sun isn’t up yet, and I already want the day to be over.
Riley must have gotten us breakfast while I was panicking in the bathroom. There’s a tray full of eggs, toast, and coffee sitting on the hotel dresser. I’m not sure where she is, but there’s a small note covered in pink cursive.
‘I figured you could use some alone time. Let me know when you’re ready to go meet Reid.’
Having to see Reid before a competition is never easy, knowing he’ll be watching and cheering me on even if I can’t hear it. Sure, I want to prove to myself and my family I can do this, but more than that, I want to make Reid proud. I want to be able to keep up with him and the boys, shredding my way down a mountain without blinking an eye. The way I can barely get myself to eat a bite of delicious cheesy eggs is making me doubt I’ll ever accomplish either.
My first failure of the day, a half eaten breakfast, stares back at me as I get dressed. Baggy mountain biking pants cling to my knees. They’re forest green and insanely comfortable, even if they do make me look like a boy. Up top, I pull on two tight sports bras that are objectively too small for me.
Nothing annoys me more than my female anatomy getting in the way of my handlebars. The impact of mountain biking is no joke, and I’m certain it’s harder on the girls than it is the guys. My shirt is bright white and covers my forearms. People might think it’s dumb to wear white to race around in the mud, but I kind of like it. It’s a fresh canvas waiting to be decorated.
I left my mountain biking shoes and my knee pads back at the van. Truthfully, I look a little ridiculous without them. Riley knocks on the door as if she didn’t pay for this hotel room, and I promptly let her in. She takes one look at me and stifles a laugh.
“What?” I mean to sound incredulous, but I know just as well what she’s laughing at. “Leave me alone. I have to wear this.”
She’s still giggling. “Maybe take the socks off?”
“Let’s just go.” I groan.
We pull into the parking lot from the other day, and there are tons of people walking around. It looks like what I imagine a commune to be, and I’m sort of jealous that I wasn’t free spirited enough to be a part of it.
