I open my mouth to start protesting our sleeping location, but he must have anticipated what I was going to say because he yanks me against him into a tight hug. He pushes my head against his chest so I can’t speak. Not that I want to. All I want to do is revel in his usual scent of sandalwood and pine trees.
It relaxes me instantly, just like it always does.
There’s a slight rush of warm air on the top of my head, almost like he’s sniffing my hair? He takes his thumb under my chin and tips my head up to meet his gaze. “I have a surprise for you.”
“Oh what, is there a luxury outhouse here?”
I sound so annoying—bitchy. But I can’t help it. Something about sleeping among these rafts makes me want to throw up. The reason I have this van is to camp in beautiful places surrounded by trees and streams, not weird parking lots.
Reid’s cheeks puff out with a restrained laugh. I’m baffled by him bringing me here. I thought he knew me.
“Riley will be here in the next few hours.”
7
Iwant to kiss him right here and now. Riley is my very best friend. The one person I’ve let stay close to me, and I haven’t seen her in months. Words are evading me as I stand halfway in Reid’s arms, staring up at him.
“I figured it’d be nice to surprise you! She flew into Bozeman a few days ago and has been hanging out in Yellowstone. She was going to camp up there another night but I figured you’d like to see her tonight instead. She should be here after dinner.”
It’s challenging to hold in my squeal. Seeing Riley is exactly what I need right now, and I can’t believe Reid kept it from me. Secretly, I’m glad that he did—the surprise is worth it.
“We’re gonna have her sleep here?” I can’t hide the disgust in my voice.
“She got the two of you a hotel room. I figured you’d sleep there, but if you wanna cozy up in an old raft, have at it, I guess.” The corner of his mouth is pulling up as if it were attached to a string. It keeps rising higher and higher, making his amusement evident. His pearly white teeth are on full display now.
My eyes roll back. Obviously, I want the hotel room. I feel so guilty about it though. We haven’t even spent a singular night onthe road yet, and I’m already jonesing for fresh sheets and hotel robes? How pathetic.
Reid’s staring deep into my eyes as if he can see my inner turmoil. His pupils dilate as he completes his scan of my face. I avert my eyes—hide myself from this perception. He always sees too much, much more than he lets on. “Addie, it’s okay if you wanna sleep in a real bed. No one blames you for that.”
They probably would care if they knew. Blair always gets hotels, and people judge her for that. I know I do. It always feels like she’s somehow better than us when she rolls up to the track with perfectly slicked back hair and stain-free riding pants. I don’t want to be like that.
Effortless cool girl has always been my aspiration, but I can’t get rid of the side of myself that likes nice things. I guess the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree after all. Burying my face into the sleeve of my fleece jacket, I lean against the back of the van.
How am I going to make it all season on the road if I’m already succumbing to a hotel on day one?
Riley is from a rich family too, and she has no qualms about using that money to her advantage. She’s effortless and cool without even trying. Her long, honey blonde hair always falls in easy waves as it cascades down her shoulders. Riley always looks like she’s starring in a Free People commercial, and I mean that in the best way.
I’ve always been envious of her. The way she’s unapologetically herself, how she sticks flowers in her hair and literally frolics through meadows. Her beauty isn’t only on the outside either. Truly, she is one of the most loving people I have ever met, even if she’s a little clueless sometimes. Much like Reid, I’m not sure she has ever experienced anxiety—even a twinge of it.
She’s wild and free. It’s exactly what I need right now.
Reid gently runs his hands across my upper back, and histouch spreads warmth through me. I resist the urge, just barely, to lean into his touch like a damn cat. I’m greedy for more contact.
I catch him glancing longingly at the bonfire full of people. It may be my nightmare, but it’s his daydream. I owe it to him to try my best tonight.
It’s time to face the music. Specifically, it’s time to face the reggae. It’s streaming out of one of the vans in the corner. My upper lip quivers, and I bite down on it lightly before Reid gets a chance to see it.
“Don’t worry, Blondie. We’ll meet her at the bar. I just want to introduce you to someone first.”
That nickname always makes my stomach flip, even though I hate it. It always sounds a bit derogatory. Plus, I’ve only ever see him go for redheads or brunettes. Logically, I know that my hair color won’t change anything. I could dye my hair brown tomorrow and it won’t make him magically fall for me. That doesn’t mean I haven’t considered it, though.
Admittedly, I’m glad we’re going to a bar. I’m not usually much of a drinker, but something about the wild west makes me want to shake my ass in some skimpy outfit. This urge may have been brought on by my recent foray into cowboy romance books—I really can’t be sure.
Unfortunately, I left my boots at home. I’m sad about it. They wouldn’t fit in my limited van wardrobe, and they aren’t very practical—baby pink, and not my usual style at all. But secretly, I love them. Riley gave them to me one Christmas and I swear she infused a bit of her carefree attitude into them.
I don’t even like country music, but that summer when I visited her in California, we saw a random band. That was one of my favorite nights ever—pretending to be a girl who didn’t care what anyone thought about her, wearing pink cowboyboots and daisy dukes. I think about it sometimes when I need some levity.
Reid grabs my hand and loops it through his own. He’s beaming ear to ear the closer we get to the little bonfire in the corner of the parking lot. I fight the urge to hide in Willa all night long. I’m ashamed—not for being high maintenance, or for my lack of a cool girl attitude, but for the fact that I’m bashing a place that Reid clearly loves.
