‘No,’ I said firmly, looking him deep in his eyes.‘Just because we agreed that this isn’t a relationship, doesn’t meant that we can’t talk about serious stuff.I know we haven’t known each other long, but I like you.I care about you.I want to know that you’ll be okay when you leave here.I don’t know anyone in LA that you could stay with, but I can ask my best friend Vanessa if she does and…’
‘It’s okay.’ Jake squeezed my hand.‘I really appreciate you looking out for me, but I’ll be fine.I shouldn’t have brought it up.It’s kinda depressing.I’m gonna go for a walk on the beach.Clear my head.’ He got up, then kissed me softly on the forehead.‘Do me a favour though, please.’
‘Course.’
‘When I get back, can we pretend we didn’t have this conversation?My life has been pretty shitty lately and, well, this past week with you has been awesome and I know it’s not the responsible thing to do, but I just wanna stay in this happy bubble a little longer and have fun before I have to face up to reality again, okay?’
‘Okay.’
‘Thanks.’ He kissed me again, this time on the lips, sending a zing shooting up my spine.‘I’ll catch up with you later.’
As I watched him leave, my stomach sank.I felt for him, so much.I wished there was something I could do to help.
Just as I was racking my brain, my phone buzzed.It was a notification that I’d had a missed call from Vanessa.I dialled her straight back.
‘Hey!’ I said.
‘Thought you should know that Jake posted a photo of you on his Insta.Sorry, Hal,’ she sighed.‘If it helps, no one will know it’s you because your back’s to the camera and everyone’s talking about the great view and how intrigued they are to know who the mystery lady is, but anyway, I thought you should know.’
‘It’s okay!’ I said, thinking how sweet it was for Vanessa to call to tell me.She always had my back.‘Iwas actually the one who posted it on his Instagram.’
‘What?’ she shouted.‘But why?’
‘His agent’s been hassling him to share more content and to post about me.Thinks it’ll help his image if he’s seen to be more serious or some shit like that.And after what he did for me, I wanted to do something to help him out.’
‘What, you mean, after he saved you falling off the horse?’
‘No…’ I paused, getting up to close the small gap in the patio doors, just in case, because I knew there’d be a lot of screaming and excitement once I spilled the beans.‘Because he gave me more than six orgasms!’
‘Say whaaaaatttt?’ As predicted, Vanessa screamed down the phone.The loud, screeching sound was more ear-piercing than the cries of a hundred newborn babies, so I quickly held it away from my ears.‘Oh my God!You fucked him?When?How?Where?Tell meeverythingimmediately!’
I filled her in on the epic fingering on the daybed, then told her all about the sex and how he’d gone down on me multiple times.And I threw in the fact that Sammie caught him with my juices on his chin which of course she thought was hilarious.
‘I amsofucking happy for you!You deserve this!A man with a big dick who not only knows how to use it but is also obsessed with eating you out is the dream hook-up!’
‘Right?I can’t even believe this is happening!’
‘You better believe it, sweetie!And lap it up, pardon the pun!I know you wanted to find your happily-ever-after, but sometimes it’s not that deep.Sometimes getting multiple happy endings is all a girl needs to put a smile on her face!’
‘Yeah.That’s what I told myself.I’m happy to have a MrRight Now. I still have time to find my Mr Right.And I really feel like this will be good for me.Jake has shown me that not all guys are arseholes.He’s been really open and honest about a lot of personal stuff with me.That’s refreshing.’
Although Vanessa was my bestie, I didn’t feel right sharing the things that Jake had told me about his personal situation.He’d confided in me and I didn’t want to betray his trust.
‘It really is.Too many men are too afraid or closed up to talk about anything related to their feelings.’
‘Exactly.And the whole going down on me thing was pretty great too.It’s like he did it not just because he enjoyed it and was determined to make me happy, but also because he wanted me to understand that Iamdesirable and worthy and that I shouldn’t feel ashamed about what happened before with he-who-won’t-be-named.’
‘That’s good, because he’s right.That arsehole refusing to eat you out wasn’t ayouproblem.That was a selfish prick problem.’
‘Right.And Jake definitely isn’t selfish in the bedroom.I asked him multiple times to let me return the favour, but he kept saying that he wanted to givemepleasure and watching me come and having the opportunity to fuck me was enough.’
‘Damn. That isgold. This man’s a walking, talking,fuckinggreen flag.Shame he doesn’t want anything serious.’
‘Yeah…’ My voice trailed off.
Never mind keeping count of the orgasms.If I had a dollar for every time my mind had drifted, thinking about how great it would be if Jake and I were together for real, I’d have enough money to cover at least his first month’s rent on an apartment.
But there was no way I could confess to that.
