‘Nope.’
‘He must not have got round to posting any yet.’
‘I’m not so sure… He’s done several posts today.He did a few of the beach this morning.Then there’s some cool ones of the views of the Hollywood Hills and yeah, now that you’ve mentioned horse riding, I do remember that the most recent posts were of some horses, but like I said, there’s none with you.’
‘Oh.’
That was weird.
Good weird.
I didn’t want him to post photos of me and he hadn’t.
I should feel relieved, but of course my brain had to take me to dark places and make me wonder why.And the default reaction for my mind was to tell me he didn’t want me on his social media because I wasn’t pretty enough and because he knew that his followers would rip me to shreds.
For fuck’s sake.
This was exactly why I couldn’t handle dating anyone in the public eye.It brought out all of my insecurities and a load of bad memories came flooding back.
If I dated Joe Bloggs who worked in accounts for a local company, I wouldn’t have these kinds of concerns.We’d just be two normal people, doing normal things that no one cared about.
I wouldn’t have to worry about women questioning why he’d picked me and not one of the many gorgeous supermodels and actresses that must slide into his DMs along with zillions of fans who’d do anything to breathe the same air as him.
Yeah, I knew that even ‘normal’ guys got attention, but it was always going to be significantly less than a man who was as recognisable as Harry Styles.
‘You sound disappointed,’ Vanessa said, reading my mind.I hated when she did that.
‘Course not!’ I lied.‘You know how much Ihatehaving my photo taken.And that’s almost as much as having my photo plastered online.’
‘Hmm-mmm,’ she replied, clearly not convinced.‘I know, but you shouldn’t let that stop you from taking them to keep as mementos of your time there.Andto share with your best friend!You know how gorgeous I think you are.’
‘Like you said, you’re my bestie, so of course you’re gonna say that.’
‘Nope.If you were a munter, I probably wouldn’t say anything at all.Actually, I’d just pay for you to get a decent haircut and buy you some good make-up and pretty clothes.Everyone has potential.But luckily you don’t need a makeover.’
‘Er, thanks?’ I said, thinking she meant well, even if her statement didn’t come across that way.Vanessa wasn’t one to mince her words.
‘So tell me more about this horse riding?I thought that would’ve been your idea of hell.’
‘It was.At first.’
I filled Vanessa in on what happened and how understanding Jake was.
‘Oooh!’ she said excitedly.‘So let me get this straight.He carried your bagandhe promised to keep you safe when you were facing one of your biggest fears?’
‘Yeah…’ I said reluctantly, feeling relieved that I hadn’t shared the part about how good it felt when he rested his hand on top of mine.Telling Vanessa that would just be asking for trouble.
‘And then he basically saved you when you fell off the horse?’
‘Yep.’
‘Bloody hell.If an ordinary man did that, I’d be dropping to my knees to thank him, but for a hottie like Jake, forget about going horse riding.I’d be pushing him down on the ground and offering to ridehim!’ she cackled.
‘Classic Vanessa,’ I said, trying to resist the urge to laugh with her.
‘Come on,’ she scoffed.‘You can’t tell me you weren’t tempted.’
‘Of course I wasn’t!I’vetoldyou.I’m not interested.’
