‘Maybe if you’d arranged for me to be set up with someone who wanted to raise their profile like you’d promised, I wouldn’t be in this mess,’ I snapped back.
‘Everyonewants to be famous!’ Wilma spat, ignoring my comment.
I disagreed.If I could sing and make music without the fame, I’d do it in a heartbeat, but they worked hand in hand.In order to make a decent living, people needed to know who you were and if they knew who you were, they would always want more.More photos, more access, more of everything.
‘I can tell you with absolute certainty that she doesn’t.’
‘You just need to be more convincing!’ Wilma countered.‘Everyone has their price.Give me her name and I’ll do some digging.Maybe she’s got debts to pay off or skeletons in her closet.Once we know what she needs or what she’s hiding, we can wear her down.I’m sure a big cheque will make her forget about her silly little photo and social media aversion.Get some photos of her posted by tomorrow or kiss goodbye to any chance you have of reviving your career.’
Before I even had a chance to argue, Wilma hung up.
Shit.
Wilma was asking for Halle’s name.She was contemplating doing some digging on her.
And I could tell from her tone that she wasn’t playing.
That was bad.Very, very bad.
It looked like I had two choices: continue to refuse to post photos of Halle which would lead to Wilma digging up some secrets that maybe Halle didn’t want uncovered.Or posting photos of Halle and risking her wrath and destroying whatever small part of trust I’d built with her today.
Neither option was a good one.
Whatever way I looked at it, I was well and truly fucked.
18
HALLE
I washed my hands in my bathroom and exhaled.I wasn’t joking when I told Jake that I desperately needed a wee.A few minutes later and I might’ve wet myself, which would’ve been embarrassing.
As I headed out to the bedroom and thought about our ‘piss’ conversation, a smile touched my lips.I’d never really thought about how many weird sayings we used with that word.And until today, I never thought that a man like Jake would make me laugh, smile and feel safe either.
What a difference a few hours could make.
It pained me to admit it, but I’d had a good day.I’d conquered a fear and actually enjoyed the horse riding.
I’d seen some great views of LA and I’d voluntarily posed for a photo for the first time in years.
That wouldn’t seem like a big deal for most people, but it was for me.
In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but I was on a high.
Now though, I was questioning my judgement because no doubt that photo and the ones Sammie took yesterday were probably already plastered all over social media.
My stomach sank as the painful memories came flooding back of how Brett’s fans used to pick me apart whenever a photo of me appeared on his social media or in those trashy gossip magazines.
The criticism was relentless.They hated my hair because it was too short, my body (obviously I was too big/not sexy enough), everything about my face, my skin colour, my clothes.You name it, if it had anything to do with me, it was ugly.
Every day they commented on the fact that I wasn’t good or pretty enough to be with a guy like Brett and constantly questioned why we were together.
We were introduced at a party –beforehe got his record deal.I didn’t even realise he was an aspiring singer until our first proper date, but I said I’d happily come to his next show.
Within days, I was watching him perform at a dingy bar in New York, but I didn’t care.I loved that he was following his dream and there was something intoxicating about watching a man with a guitar, singing a song to you, like you were the only woman that existed.Truth be told, the bar was empty, so that was pretty accurate, but it wasn’t long before I was head over heels.
I went to all of Brett’s gigs.Whether it was a crowd of three or thirty people, I did whatever I could to support him.When he got heckled, I cheered louder for him.When he didn’t have the money to travel to shows out of town, I got extra shifts at work to pay for it.
He told me that he loved and appreciated me and that one day, when he hit the big time, he’d show me how much.
