Nora continued down toward the shore. She threw her empty coffee cup in a trash can, took a deep breath, and faced the sea. It was ice blue on this beautiful day, the wind had dropped, and feathery clouds were reflected in its glimmering surface.
She walked along the water, then turned back up toward town. She wandered aimlessly, lost in thought. She had meant what she said; she was convinced that she and Henrik were an impossible equation. But she suddenly realized that she was terrified that she wouldn’t find it easy to forget him, because what Henrik had said was also true: what had transpired between themwasgenuine.
She felt a sharp, stabbing pain in her chest, an echo of the pain she had felt when she lost her parents. She gave herself a little shake; what was wrong with her? To be fair, this kind of behavior wasn’t unfamiliar to her; she often reacted this way when it came to relationships. Most of the men she had met over the years weren’t looking for anything serious, but she had always pushed away the ones who were. She didn’t give it much thought; that was how she was, and she had never had strong feelings for any of them. But then none of them had opened up to her the way Henrik had, nor had she opened up like that to anyone else.
Everything was so unexpected with Henrik, both his feelings and her own. She realized that she would actually miss him when he left, and that deep down she really wanted to see him again. In which case it was best to squash her emotions now, before they deepened, before they developed into love. Then she wouldn’t be too crushed if he forgot about her when he got back to Stockholm. If she could avoid falling in love with him, then she could avoid the risk of any pain.
37
1945
Tuula and the children stayed with Nils until the end of the week. Matias improved after fluid replacement treatment and rest, but Nils had had to drive him the short distance to the doctor’s because he could barely stand. Tuula still couldn’t get her head around the idea that someone bore them such ill will.
When Aino and Heikki returned home that weekend and Tuula told Aino what had happened, Aino’s face lost all its color.
“How much longer can we stay here?” Aino whispered. They were sitting in the shade of the tall oak tree, on rickety wooden chairs that Heikki had bought cheap. They were enveloped in the warm scent of roses. The well was clean now, and there was nothing to remind Tuula of what had been down there.
“What do you mean?” Tuula said.
“Things are completely different in Småland. They live in a bigger community that’s more anonymous. There’s the odd insult, but no hassle. Nothing like this.” Aino took a deep breath. “Nothing approaching pure hatred.”
They suddenly heard a scream in the street. Then the door flew open, and Ritva tumbled into the courtyard, sobbing helplessly. Tuula leaped to her feet as the child flew into her mother’s arms.
“Sweetheart, what’s happened?” She ran her hands over her daughter’s body. Was she injured? Her hair was all over the place, her blouse was open, and one sleeve was torn. Then she saw it—a gash across her chest. It was bleeding, and Tuula quickly took off her own blouse and used it as a makeshift dressing.
“Ritva, what happened?”
The child just kept on sobbing.
“Ritva, what happened?” She realized she was shouting in sheer panic.
Aino took Ritva in her arms and tried to soothe her. After a few minutes she was calm enough to talk.
Some boys had followed her to the grocery store. They had wrestled her to the ground, torn her blouse, and yelled at her that she stank. One of the boys had slashed her chest with his pocketknife, then run off.
“They didn’t do anything else?” Tuula had to ask the question.
Ritva shook her head.
Tuula was beside herself at the thought of what else might have happened. She and Aino exchanged meaningful glances, both hoping that Ritva didn’t understand why. They took her upstairs to the apartment, where she sat in silence, gazing blankly into space. Aino inspected the wound while Tuula fetched warm water and rags.
“It looks clean and it’s not very deep. Do you have a dressing?”
Tuula shook her head.
“I’ll go and get one from downstairs.”
Shortly after Aino had left, there was a knock on the door. It must be Nils—she was supposed to meet him at the café.
She opened the door to let him in. “I’m so sorry, I ... Something’s happened.”
“What is it?” Nils looked worried.
“Some boys attacked Ritva, I completely forgot we were meeting up, and ...”
“How is she?”
“Under the circumstances, she’s okay. I think she wants to be left alone right now,” she added quietly.
