“Ah, so you know what happened.” Kerstin looked at her with renewed suspicion, as though she was somehow responsible for the skelm’s actions. With a dismissive sniff, she turned her attention back to me. “So you want to go south and just forget about Fell?”
I fully glared at her and said tightly, “I could never forget about Fell.”
My fingers folded, curling inward, brushing against my gloved palm where the skin beneath had fallen dormant. Still nothing. The lack of sensation in my palm matched the numbness inside me at the topic of Fell. It was a numbness I worked hard to cultivate.
Numbness was far preferable, I’d decided. Far better than longing or sorrow or fury—all emotions I’d suffered since I’d lost him, and none of them had served me well.
“I thought you wanted to find where the skelm buried him,” Kerstin said.
At this, the usual feelings of helplessness overwhelmed me. “And how am I supposed to do that?” My tone was more biting than I intended. Kerstin knew it was hopeless, and it felt cruel of her to act as though we had any chance of finding him. As though I was giving up when she herself had explained to me just how very,veryimpossible it all was.
“I can show you.”
The words dropped heavily on the air like stones, one after the other.
For a moment, they did not penetrate. I stared. Blinked. Turnedeach word over as though examining them individually for meaning. I replayed them in my mind, resisting the urge to lean into them … to let hope claim me.
Kerstin and I looked at each other, and I wondered if I appeared as bewildered as she did. She found her voice first. “What did you say?”
“I was there when the skelm buried him.” Sylvi was looking at me with those sharp, otherworldly eyes of hers. Her words felt like a hand reaching inside me and pulling everything out, spilling me open and laying me bare. “I can take you to him.”
I worked my lips for a moment before getting out, “And why would you do that? Why would you want to help us?”
“You saved me.” She shrugged. “My mother always said to never be beholden to anyone. I’ll repay the debt and then be on my way.”
Kerstin and I exchanged looks.
“Very well,” I said with a lift of my chin, naturally accepting her offer. “Take us to him.”
“Tamsyn,” Kerstin hissed, shooting a distrustful glance Sylvi’s way. “You can’t trust her. We know nothing of her. Who knows where she will lead us?”
I examined the witch’s pale face. Her skin was almost translucent, the fine veins visible beneath the skin. It didn’t matter. I would not walk away when there was even a chance Fell could be freed.
I held up a hand, cutting Kerstin off. Keeping my eyes fixed on Sylvi, I said, “Lead the way.”
24
TAMSYN
SYLVI OBLIGED AND LED THE WAY.
Her promise to lead us to Fell felt cavalier and too easy. Nonetheless I was invigorated by the possibility, when before I had been without optimism and filled only with a sense of bleakness, of failure. Freed from my exhaustion, my hope revived. A dangerous thing that—hope. I’d let myself be gulled by it before. Vetr had fed me hope, and I had lapped it up, blinded to what he truly was. I would not succumb so easily again.
I stayed behind Sylvi, remaining guarded, cautious, careful to keep space between us—just in case. I’d seen enough by now to know not to fully trust her. It wasn’t Kerstin and her unreasonable hatred of witches that made me wary … It was my own experience. Trust was not something I would so easily give again.
The possibility that we would unearth him and all would be well was a teasing brush against my mind, a tempting whisper on my heart. Too good to be true. I would not permit myself to fall into the enticing relief of it.
Not yet.
We walked at a brisk pace. Sylvi said it wasn’t far.Hewas not far. We would reach the site within the day, and I was grateful for that. Whatever happened … it would happen soon. Finally. I was finally reaching a destination—an ending I had not known was even up for grabs.
A vague unease lingered, twisting beneath my skin as we madethe trek. It would go away soon, though. Either Fell would be standing before me at the end of this day, or he would not.
But it would all come to an end. At last.
Finally, Sylvi stopped and pointed to a spot on the snow-draped ground.
“Are you sure?” The area looked utterly unremarkable. Barren, snowy landscape, broken occasionally by scrub and jutting rocks. Just like so much of the Crags.
