“N-no.” Hating the tremulous sound of my voice, I tried again, and the word came out stronger. “No.”
I held his gaze, regarding him back.Never look away. Never flinch. Never show fear … as with any predator.
It was fine tofeelfear, but never fine to reveal it. And they were all predators. Every one of them.
Including me.
Clearly dissatisfied, he reached for me, cool fingers landing on my chin, tilting my face up, and I fought to hold my ground, to be braver than I truly was. He made a low sound of disapproval as he examined me, but I maintained my composure.
That was what I did. Pretended to be brave so that I might gain acceptance.Fake it and not fall apart.Forced to live among strangers, relying on them for everything, I could do nothing else.
I never let on how much losing Fell broke me, because broken things were … well,broken. Never appreciated. Never valued. Never respected. Broken things were discarded, tossed out like scraps, and despite everything, I was determined to survive here. Fell would have wanted that. He would not have risked so much for me if that weren’t true.
Vetr touched the flyaway strands of hair framing the right side of my face—or rather, where flyaway strands once fluttered around my cheek. Before Nayden incinerated them.
Now he just brushed the short tufts that remained. Frowning, I reached up, exploring for myself, narrowly avoiding bumping fingers with Vetr.
He rubbed those burnt remnants between his fingertips, the rough, scratching sound right beside my ear. Then his touch shifted, his thumb gliding down, stroking the side of my temple in a soft caress. I winced slightly, realizing the skin there was scorched raw. For no other reason did I react.
Vetr pulled back, revealing a smear of black ash on his thumb.
“He burned you.” Vetr shot a glare in the direction Nayden had fled, a growl rising up. His eyes shuddered for a split second, the pupils thinning to vertical slits. It was fortunate for Nayden that he’d already gone. I had no doubt that Vetr would have turned his wrath on him again in that moment.
The possible punishments Vetr could impose upon Nayden quickly escalated in my mind, which was not something I wanted. It would not improve my relationship with the youth. He was a fire-breather, too. The only other one in the pride. Weshouldget along. Inevitably, in times of conflict, we would have to work in concert.
I stepped back, removing myself from Vetr’s touch. “It’s not bad. I will heal. By tomorrow, I will be back to normal,” I hastily reminded him, not wanting to make any more out of this than necessary, specifically Nayden’s role in it.
I already stood out for all the obvious reasons. I did not need the alpha of the pride making a fuss over me—over what amounted to an insignificant injury—and burning a path of retribution on my behalf.
I held Vetr’s icy gaze, willing him to accept that I was fine.
At last, he relented with a single, hard nod. I exhaled, glad for him to let the matter go. It wasn’t as though I’d never been hurt before. Quite a bit of my blood had wet the dirt floor of this arena.
Everyone else appeared to relax as well.
“Enough for the day,” Vetr proclaimed. He swept another look around the arena before returning his frosty eyes to me. Following a long, unreadable look, he turned and strode away, presumably to deal with Nayden.
Alone with the others, I felt the full weight of their resentful gazes.
I inhaled and curled my fingers inward, stroking the inside of my hand, searching for the familiar comfort there, the sense that I was not alone, the sense that I was connected to someone, even if it wasn’t real.
2
TAMSYN
IWAS GRATEFUL FOR MY OWN DEN. IT WAS THE ONE PLACE INthe pride, theonlyplace, that was mine alone. A place I could escape to, where I could have privacy, where I didn’t have to pretend, where I didn’t have to be strong, where I could breathe and collapse and I didn’t have to be anything for anyone. Not a dragon. Not a human. Just me.
There was a bed, low to the ground, covered in luxurious furs and pelts. A wood chest for my meager belongings, all given to me since I arrived here. Nothing was mine. The only thing I possessed was the necklace at my throat, the gift from Fell, the weight of it a heavy, welcome thing. All I had left. That and the memory of him, of his beating heart in my palm … there still even now. Perhaps forever. A balm and a torment.
My den had all the comforts of a bedchamber. The only thing missing was a window with a view to the outside world. But there was another view. A spectacular view. Vibrant gemstones of all shapes and hues were embedded in the stone walls in various patterns, casting a kaleidoscope of colors throughout the chamber.
Night after night, a subtle dance of rainbow lights peppered the darkness like living particles. Mesmerized, I would lift a hand, fingers fluttering in the dark as though trying to catch the light, absorbing the energy those jewels cast, reveling in it, the magic pouring into me, soothing me to sleep, as gentle as waves rocking a ship, restoring all the little raw and wounded bits of me.
Well. Almost all.
The absence of Fell was an abiding ache, a hurt that would never fully heal, a detached limb that would not regrow, but I wouldn’t will the pain away even if I could.
He was still here, in me, his heart drumming swift and sure in the cup of my hand where we were blooded. A bond that even death had not severed, not snipped neatly away.
