It did not seem a promise anyone could make … much less one I could believe.
And how could I explain that it was not Stig haunting my dreams? That it was Fell. That I felt him as I never had before. That I felt him with me now—that he had been with me during my svefn. At least … I had felt him then, in that shadowy plateau between life and death. In that deep and healing rest, I had felt connected to him. More than that. He had been with me.
Myfeelings.Hisfeelings. The two had been impossible to distinguish and untangle.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, because it felt like the thing to say. He’d entered my room in good faith. I’d practically pounced on him—and then I struck him.
He shrugged. “No harm.”
The air swirled thickly around us, and it felt as though he was waiting for something. “When I heard you scream …” His voicefaded. “It made me think about what had happened to you.” His shoulders and chest lifted on a sharp inhale, as though he struggled to admit whatever was weighing on him. “I never want you hurt like that again.”
This world is a dangerous place. Even here.
I recalled Vetr had once said those words to me, or something like it, after Nayden used his fire on me.
“You just said I am safe here,” I reminded him.
He inclined his head in acknowledgment, and yet still he hesitated. Then, in a voice softer and huskier and reminding me of his raspyLittle Flame, could you burn any hotter?utterance, he said: “If you were mine, you would be safer here, in the Crags … No one would dare harm you. You would have no cause for nightmares.”
Instantly, my skin flushed hot. Butterflies erupted in my belly. Riotous and bewildering.
If you were mine …
I sucked in a breath, absorbing that. “I think I’ve proven how adept I am at taking care of myself.”
He nodded. “You have. No one would disagree with that. But we could be good together, Tamsyn.” Another pause. “And you wouldn’t have to sleep alone ever again. I would be there for you if you have a nightmare.”
I was suddenly keenly conscious of how very alone we were … and how very naked I was, and how close to nakedhewas, his bare chest an endless expanse of skin before me. The same chest I had so wantonly rubbed myself against.
I swallowed thickly. I could still taste him, still feel the ache between my legs where we had worked and strained against each other. It was overwhelming, arousing …
My body had decided it wanted him, and I felt betrayed by it.
I decided to avoid the wholeif you were mineremark. Instead, I pointed out, “Fell wasn’t safe here.Youwere scarcely safe.” It took sacrificing the location of a coveted minn to secure his own release.
“What happened to him … it won’t happen to you.”
“You can’t know that,” I shot back.
He blinked and expelled a shuddery sigh. “If I could do it over again, I never would have—”
“Don’t,” I interrupted.
I didn’t want to hear about the things we wished to change. He and Fell had chosen their actions that day. They had left together, and only Vetr returned. Regret was pointless. I could fill every day and every night listing all those things.
My thumb involuntarily rubbed the inside of my throbbing palm. I couldn’t help it. It still smarted like a fresh bee sting. Every swipe of my thumb over the mark provoked a response, an answering spark. It was bothersome. And mystifying.
My body may have healed in my svefn, but I had not come out of it the same. The dreams of Fell, the sensation of him there with me, his touch, his voice in my head. The intensified throbbing in my palm. Strange and wild as it seemed, I had not woken alone.
Swallowing, I cleared my throat and dared to ask the thing I had put to rest some months ago: “Are you certain Fell is gone? Is he truly dead? Couldn’t he still be alive out there somewhere in the vastness of the Crags?”
Had Vetr actually seen Kaldr, the leader of the skelm, finish him? I’d gone to Vetr with this before, in the early days of losing Fell.
He had always rejected the possibility and advised me to give up hope.
Logic told me he was right. Fell was not out there. He couldn’t be. But hope was hard to kill.
It was a big world. There were worlds within our world. Magic hiding in the deepest of places. Vetr could be wrong.
